You Want Who?
by Jennixst
Summary: What started off as a random plot bunny has gained something of a life of it's own. Dresden teaching at Hogwarts is a fav of mine, so I had to give it a whirl. Thanks to The Dresden Files Facebook page for the germ of the idea, and to Jim Butcher and J.K. Rowlings for these great toys :-)
1. Chapter 1

_This funny little tale came to me after reading a thread in The Dresden Files group on Facebook. I hope it amuses you as much as it amused me. The characters, places and magic here are the creations of Mr. J. Butcher and Ms. J. K. Rowling. I am merely playing from their sandpit so to speak. I gain nothing but amusement from my stories._

Hogwarts, Scotland.

The Headmaster's office of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry was a very odd place, decorated a bit like a kleptomaniac gypsies caravan, with magical gizmos, whatsits, thingamabobs and doodads whirring and puffing on elegantly carved, highly polished delicate tables and shelves. Hundreds of books and portraits of apparently dozing former Heads of Hogwarts in a variety of different frames, covered the circular walls. parchment-work cluttered the large ornate desk and Fawkes, Dumbledore's magnificent red and gold Phoenix sat upon his perch, basking in the warm afternoon sunlight pouring in through the casement windows.

Currently Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts was arguing with his Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall over his choice of Professor for the vacant Defense Against the Dark Arts position. Again. It was a familiar argument by now, as capable Professors became harder and harder to find. After the unmitigated disasters that were Quirrelmort, Lockhart and the False Moody, Dumbledore had made a drastic decision. One he was now justifying to his deputy.

"You can't be serious Albus! You know his reputation as well as I do!" McGonagall protested. For all the good it would do, Albus had already made up his mind. "He's not even one of us! He didn't get a formal magical education, just a Council apprenticeship. He advertises out of a phone book for Merlin's sake. And even his own kind are wary of him, the Red Court have gone to war because of him! Most of the monsters either want to kill him for bragging rights or keep as far from him as possible! He could bring bigger problems to our doors, Albus!"

"Indeed I do know of his reputation, that is why we NEED him here. He dueled and defeated Justin DuMorne, and DuMorne was trained within our walls. He may have strayed far from our world but the skills are there. It's him or Madam Umbridge.. who do you think our students will respond to better? Especially Young Mister Potter? Madam Umbridge's views are very well known.. as are her connections within the ministry."

" Oh Merlin's saggy... That horrible toad woman! That being the case I won't fight you anymore Albus, but I have some conditions."

"Oh, and what would they be, Minerva?", her old friend and mentor asked, that damned twinkle in his eye. Her near swearing was proof of how tense she was. A few minutes later it was his turn to want to swear.

Smiling archly, Minerva McGonagall laid down the law for her boss.

"One: you will need to PERSONALLY upgrade the fire, earthquake, and storm wards to the fullness of your abilities."

"Now, Minerva..."

She held up her hand and gave him the look that had cowed many a recalcitrant student. He wisely shut up.

"Two: You and Severus WILL remove that bloody great basilisk from under the school. I am sure Mr. Potter would be more than happy to help you get in."

Dumbledore looked confused at the instructions.

"Do you NOT remember what he did with that dinosaur skeleton? I, for one, do not want a zombie basilisk being ridden through the halls!"

Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "You know, it would certainly increase our offensive advantage..." Upon seeing his Deputy's expression, he held up his hands. "Yes, yes, you are , of course, correct. Hopefully the promise of vast quantities of basilisk parts will offset Severus' distaste for all things Potter. And as we will be entering the famous Chamber of Secrets I believe he may even hold his tongue for once."

Minerva snorted, "One can only hope. Now, whilst we are on the subject of Severus. YOU get to tell him who has the D.A.D.A. position next year. I am sure he will be utterly thrilled to be once again denied his desired job... and overjoyed to be in the company of a Warden to boot. It couldn't have been worse if you hired Sirius."

"Alas my dear, I would have loved to be able to hire Sirius. We can only hope Peter slips up or is seen soon. I fear for Sirius' sanity if we have to leave him in that house too long." The old man sighed. "Fine. And you're right, I should be the one to speak to Severus. Perhaps after we harvest the basilisk he will be too preoccupied to get upset."

"Your showing your Slytherin side again, Albus." Minerva teased, no real malice in her voice. Indeed her mentor shared a chuckle. She kept her thoughts on Sirius' questionable sanity to herself. Personally she'd often thought her former lion quiet deranged BEFORE his incarceration.

"Anything else my dear?"

"Hmm.. oh yes. I'll ask the elves to organize quarters for him. I expect he will be bringing his familiars. I am guessing you hope that he will help with our... problem?"

Albus just twinkled at her and took a lemon drop. Minerva sighed. "You can be such a manipulative bastard sometimes, Albus. Truly, you can." Dumbledore had the decency to almost look ashamed. "The man was an orphan, abused and unloved as a child, attacked by a dark wizard, frequently persecuted and distrusted by his own kind and the Muggles. He is also well known for being a champion to the underdog, and for having a 'saving people thing' just like our own Mr. Potter. You're going to introduce him to Harry and see what unfolds, aren't you?"

Dumbledore smiled serenely at her and selected another lemon drop. She frowned.

"I hope you know what you are doing, Albus. He can apparently be quite irrational about those he considers under his protection. This whole thing could blow up spectacularly."

"I am aware of that, Minerva, but I have no other choice. We can't have the ministry poking throughout Hogwarts. And though Dolores Umbridge is not a Death-Eater to my knowledge, she certainly agrees with their ideologies. She already has Mr. Potter in her sights. I do not want her getting too close to the boy, he endures enough grief as it is."

"Yes, and whose decision was that?" McGonagall snapped. She sighed, not wanting to get into another old argument. "On that note Albus; you really need to reign Severus in. He never lets up on the boy. Harry is not his father, no matter how much he may resemble him."

Dumbledore was already shaking his head. He leaned forward and stared hard at his Deputy. "Minerva. Surely you know what would happen if Severus were to let up on Harry now? With Tom back and powerful again? Being even civil to Harry, or to anyone not 'worthy' could cost Severus his life. His value as a Potion Master and spy may spare him, but Voldemort is not known for making rational decisions. So Severus 'stays in character' as the Muggles say. I daresay it is as unpleasant for him as it is for us."

His deputy snorted. She thought Severus was perfectly happy being the 'Dreaded Dungeon Bat'.

"Be that as it may, you should warn him. His typical brand of addressing everyone is probably not going to go over well with our newest possible member of Staff. You know how he typically reacts to bullies. I hope this doesn't go badly Albus. Have you thought about what will happen if the Curse does something to him? I, for one, do not want another visit from the Black-staff. I hope this works Albus, I really, really do."

For once there was no twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes. "I know Minerva. So do I. He may be our last chance to come out of this war victorious."

Minerva McGonagall chuckled. "I'm just grateful stone is somewhat hard to burn."

"Now Minerva, you know not all those burning building were his fault."

 _Due to popular demand this will continue in a fairly relaxed form. Hats off to my fantastic new proof reader and fellow writer, 6Q4 Ninja._


	2. Chapter 2

**You Want Who P2**

 **Awkward Conversations.**

 _All I own is a battered old PC and this funny idea. The rest belongs to J. K. and Jim._

Severus Snape was happy. Well, as happy as he ever was. Severus was a bitter man caught between two Masters, and they were slowly pulling him apart. But for now he was alone in his private lab deep beneath Hogwarts carefully tinkering with his latest potions experiment. The Dunderheads were all home for the holidays and it was quiet and peaceful in the hallowed halls of Hogwarts. Even Peeves had been quiet.

Really, Severus thought later, he should have known it was too good to last.

Within his lab a chime rang, a cuckoo bird's cry he'd set just for the Headmaster. Sighing, he placed his potion in stasis and left his lab. There was no point in ignoring Albus. The venerable Headmaster would know he was there from his connection to the school's wards, and if he didn't open the door Albus would come in anyway to 'check' on him. In fairness, it had been needed more then once since Voldemort's return. He still loved the Crucio, and didn't seem nearly as concerned with his Potion Master's continued ability to brew these days.

Opening the door to his boss and mentor, Severus _knew_ he was up to something. He had a bottle of Elven wine, a plate of Molly Weasley's shortbread squares and that thrice-damned twinkle seemed to be going at mega-wattage.

"Severus, my dear boy..."

Oh yeah. He definitely wanted something. Severus moved back slowly, resisting his first urge to banish his boss from his room, cast the strongest locking charms on his door and just hide under his bed. "Albus. What do you want?"

Dumbledore tried for innocence then gave it up as a bad job. Severus knew him too well.

"It's been brought to my attention that the basilisk Mr. Potter killed is rather going to waste beneath the school, and I must confess, Severus, I would very much like to explore the chamber. I doubt Tom would have left anything there, but surely the basilisk would be well worth spending an afternoon with Mr. Potter?"

Never had Severus Snape felt so conflicted. He'd lain awake many a night, tormented by the idea of all those lovely basilisk parts going to waste. However he had point blank refused to offer _that_ boy help to harvest it. Now the headmaster was literally paving the way for him. Even the junior Potter was tolerable for basilisk parts. There had to be a catch. And _not_ just having to deal with Potter an extra few hours.

He folded his arms and stared at his boss. Albus fidgeted and refused to meet his eyes. Severus raised one eyebrow.

" You're trying to butter me up. I am not getting the Defense position, again, am I." He said this last flatly, as a statement not a question. "Who did you hire? I know it isn't the mutt, he's still wanted by the Ministry." Snape indulged in a satisfied smirk at the thought. "Lupin won't come back. He has to dog sit. Not that he could now. So, who is it?"

"Now, my boy, it's nothing to worry about..."

"Who _is_ it Albus?"

"I had no choice, Severus. Cornelius was going to send Dolores Umbridge."

" _That_ vile woman? To spy, I suppose?"

"Yes. Not very subtle but that was never Cornelius' strong suit."

Severus sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "So, who's the poor sap you suckered into the position this time?"

Albus chuckled. "A few minutes ago you seemed upset because you weren't that poor sap."

"I can't deny the idea of letting the curse finally free me from this place isn't tempting" Severus acknowledged. "But I'd like to live, at least a bit longer. I still have things to do. And stop avoiding the subject. Who?"

"I-hired-Harry-Dresden." Albus said this very fast, the words blurring into one. Severus blinked. Then he stared.

"Have you lost your mind?! Dresden?! You hired _Harry Dresden_?! The man is a bloody lunatic!"

"Now, Severus, he's more then qualified..."

"Oh, he's qualified! At unleashing complete chaos! Merlin's staff and balls, Albus!" Severus sank into his chair and dropped his head into his hands. Then to Albus' shock, he started laughing.

"Severus? Whatever is so funny?" Dumbledore was suddenly worried. Severus never laughed. Had he been cursed somehow? Bespelled?

"Oh Merlin's beard! Albus... Dresden? Here? The Pureblood will never survive! Bahahahaha!" Tears began leaking down Severus' cheeks as he held his sides and laughed harder at his boss' expression.

Albus just stared at his Potions Master nonplussed. After a few moments, Severus regained his composure.

"I believe, Albus, that young Mr. Malfoy, and likely his father, are going to have a very bad year." Severus smirked. He'd long wished he could take the Malfoy heir over his knee. He'd privately thought the ferret episode well-deserved, but in his role as spy he had to pander to the little snot. Despite countless in-house detentions Draco still was more Gryffindor than Slytherin in his inability to shut his mouth. Severus thought the coming year might actually be educational to many of his young Snakes. At the very least, it would be entertaining.

Even some days later Severus was still grinning. It was such a terrifying sight that Peeves, who'd been cruising the halls, had fled screaming from the dungeons after coming upon the Potion Master unexpectedly. It would be three weeks before the Baron could coax him out of the Suit of Armour he'd hidden in. Most of his colleagues had taken to avoiding him even more then usual, the persistent grin was downright creepy. Severus was too busy entertaining thoughts of the 'Mad Wizard Dresden' facing off against his old Master to even notice. Not to mention that, after a very brief encounter with Potter, lasting no more than fifteen minutes, he and Dumbledore had had unfettered access to the Chamber of Secrets and - more importantly to Severus - several thousand pounds of prime basilisk parts. The cold of the chamber had preserved it all but intact. Potter had taken one quick look, gone pale and politely asked to leave. Severus would have sneered at the boy, but as he looked at the immense carcass, he really could not blame him for not wanting to hang around. The beast had almost killed him and Ms. Weasley both after all. Dumbledore had cast some charms to keep the Chamber open and returned the boy to the Dursleys. Severus had gotten lost in his harvesting, in between exploring the gigantic cavern system hosting the Chamber. For Severus, it was a very good Summer. Made even better by his Master's determination to hide from the Ministry and lay low.

 ***** Dresden's POV*****

I slammed into my little basement apartment swearing sulfurous under my breath. Stupid, Stupid Harry! As usual I had not looked before I leaped. Not thought things through. My old mentor had asked me to do him a favor. And, like an idiot, I had said yes, of course. _Before_ finding out what said favor was. Because I am an _idiot_.

Stomping down into my sub-basement lab, I flicked on my candles with an angry snarl and shouted, "Bob! Wake up"

On a plain wooden shelf jumbled with romance novels, a bleached white skull rattled, amber light kindling in the eye sockets. Bob parodied a yawn before snapping his bony jaw shut and staring hard at me.

"Boss... what's wrong?", he asked, cautiously. Bob knew me too well.

I growled and stomped about a bit. "I'm an idiot. That's what's wrong."

Bob sighed. "Well, I know that. But what is wrong?"

I dropped onto my stool and stared at the skull.

"I just got done with a Council meeting." The skull tilted slightly. "Seems like the British Wanded Wizards are having problems. I haven't heard much about them, what can you tell me?"

Bob hummed. "Plenty." He said. "They're even more secretive than we are. Live in tiny pocket communities hidden from the normals. Have a different governing body, different rules. And their magic is quite a bit different. More structured, restricted and constrained with specifically-worded spells and wand movements to get the job done. Personally I think it makes them more lazy. They use their magic for just about everything." Bob sniffed. "They call the Normals Muggles, and the new blood to their world are called Muggleborns by the polite, Mudbloods by the ruder ones, and are regularly treated as interlopers. They don't get any of the good jobs, struggle to make good marriages, that sort of thing. They usually leave the Wizarding world as soon as they graduate. Dumorne studied their ways, but left to study with the Council. They keep to themselves, don't cause too much trouble mostly. Unless they have a Dark Lord or Lady pop up, but that has only happened twice in the past century. Why do you ask?"

"Ebenezer wants me to head to Britain. Needs me to take up a teaching post in some school there. His sources say some Dark Lord has shown up again."

Bod's skull turned to face me more fully. The eye sockets grew much brighter. "And you said yes?"

"Well I didn't know what I'd be doing when I said yes. Ebenezer just asked me for a favor!" I protested. The skull rapted itself against the wall.

"Harry. You idiot! The only school they have is Hogwarts! And the only job there you could possibly do is Defense Against the Dark Arts!"

"Hogwarts? Hogwarts? Who in their right mind names a school after a Swine skin complaint! And what's wrong with the job? I can teach the kids to protect themselves against most of the boogedy-boos out there."

Bob sighed, "Rumor has it the position is cursed. There hasn't been a teacher last past a year, and two or three have actually died! And if the Dark Lord you mentioned is who I think it is, you're in trouble."

I eyed the skull. "Explain please?", I asked, a sinking feeling in my stomach.

One hour, and one insane story about a power crazy, powerful wizard with a bunch of equally vicious followers, bent on world domination, one exceptionally lucky, (or unlucky depending on your point of view) kid and a whole lot of adults doing nothing later and I was feeling even more stupid. What had my old mentor gotten me into?

One thing for sure, if this 'Voldemort' character was back, and wanted to hurt the kids in the school, I was going to stop him. It was my job after all, I was a Warden now. But I'd have done it anyway. Voldemort and his "Death-Eaters" were Warlocks bent on hurting others for their own gain and amusement. At the end of the day, I wouldn't stand for that. I couldn't.

 _Props once more to my fantastic editor, 6Q4 Ninja! You're the best:-)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Ok guys, Here it is. The Third installment to the insanity. I own nothing except this idea, the psycho death-fairy of a Muse in my head and a old PC. The rest belongs to the legendary J. K Rowlings and the phenomenal Jim Butcher._

 _Hope you guys like it, and how many of you spot the Easter Eggs._

 _Dedicated to my Mum, Jane and my Minion loving mate, Michelle._

 **You Want Who**

 **Chapter 3**

 **Uh Oh We're in Trouble...**

 **Order Headquarters.**

Hermione bounced into the boys' room, startling a still sleeping Ron right out of his bed. The gangling redhead frantically grabbed for his quilt and shot their closest female friend a dirty look. "Bloody Hell! Knock next time!" He groused. Hermione ignored him. There were more important things on the bookworm's mind. Their school letters had come, which meant so had their Book Lists! She quickly handed the boys their letters and the three of them opened them together. She'd gotten Gryffindor Fifth Year Prefect, as had Ron. Harry had felt a brief flash of disappointed but he just grinned and congratulated his friends. He didn't really mind, being a prefect wasn't worth the bathroom perks. He just wanted to graduate.

Hermione, meanwhile, was staring at the book listed as their Defense text. Elementary Magic by Ebenezar McCoy. As she pondered this, the twins apparated into the room, right on top of Ron in his bed. Chaos reigned for a few minutes whilst three red heads untangled themselves from bedclothes and one another before the twins grinned at the Golden Trio and chorused, "We know something you don't know!" in childish singsong. Hermione's eyes narrowed. Fred caught the look and nudged his twin. They both grinned innocently at her.

"We were just on the stairs..." said Fred,

"Testing our extendable ears a bit more..." added George

"When we 'overhear' " said Fred, drawing out the suspense

"Just who Dumbledore hired for " George supplied

"The DADA position..." they chorused together.

And then they shut up. The trio stared at them. They stared back. A clock ticked. Silence stretched.

Ron cracked first. "Well?! Who is it?"

Fred shrugged. "Some American bloke named Dresden." and with that they apparate out again.

Hermione frowned. She bit her lip and glanced at the door before obviously coming to a decision. She hopped off the end of Harry's bed, told them to 'get up for breakfast' and hurried out.

Ron and Harry were a bit surprised though when she begged off to go home to 'do something she forgot' later that day.

To say her parents were surprised to see her home already was an understatement. The Grangers had begun to realize that the magical world was slowly absorbing their only child. When she hugged them quickly before dashing into the study and to the family computer, they shared a relieved and amused look. Some things never changed. Their daughter had a new research project and nothing would deter her from it. There were somethings that plain old 'muggles' had the Magicals beat for, and one of those was the internet.

Hermione sat back from the computer screen and chewed at her lip. Her stomach rolled. As soon as the twins mentioned Dresden she had known she knew his name. Luckily, her parents were very progressive and had the latest computer as well as a good internet connection. Her Dad claimed it was for 'work', but Hermione had caught him playing cards on more than one occasion. Still, she had been able to find several articles online about Dresden, written by a woman named Susan Rodriguez for a yellow rag out of Chicago, The Arcane.

Most of the stories in the publication were complete fantasy, more in line with the Quibbler than real journalism but Ms. Rodriguez's articles had a ring of truth to them. Her stories about Dresden dealing with creatures from nightmares and banishing ghosts had too many factual points to be completely fictitious. Then there was the video footage she had watched. Poorly lit and grainy, the camera wobbling and jiggling, with bursts of static that made it hard to see or hear what was happening, she still saw Dresden killing a werewolf. With a necklace.

Following the trail she managed to dig up a few more 'urban legends' about Harry Dresden, as well as what footage of his disastrous appearances on Larry Fowler she could find. Eventually she found herself in the small occult bookstore she frequented when looking for obscure texts. She got lucky and asked the right questions at the right moment. A short stocky man with a heavy cockney accent thanked her for the tip on Dresden heading to Scotland. He said he planned to leave the country immediately. When she pressed him, the man, who told her to call him Binder, told her quite a bit about the "Mad Wizard Dresden". He liked to talk, and Hermione was a very good listener. She didn't believe him about the zombie dinosaur until she looked online and saw that 'Sue" had indeed been 'relocated.' Binder was just telling her how Dresden had pulled the White Council and its Wardens into a war with the Red Court of Vampires when the storekeeper interrupted him by chasing them both from the store. Before Binder left he told her that Dresden had recently been 'drafted' to the Wardens. Apparently superstition went that just mentioning the Wardens could make them show up and the proprietor wanted no part of it. At home Hermione began digging for information on the White Council. What she learned did not reassure her, in fact it outright terrified her! If Dresden really was on the Council, and could call in these Wardens.. or worse WAS a Warden now, the Death-Eaters were not going to like the outcome. But many of the good guys wouldn't like it either.

Logic was not one of Hermione's strong suits. There was a reason she was not in Ravenclaw. Despite her prodigious intellect, Hermione too often led with her emotions not her mind. (Cough SPEW cough) So when she watched Dresden kill the werewolf, intellectually she understood his actions, but her teenage emotions did not. Hermione's only experiences with a werewolf had been Lupin, and while terrifying at the time, she still could not see the gentle professor as a monster. Hermione didn't like what she had learned one bit.

 **12 Grimmauld Place, mid-August.**

Hermione rejoined them at Grimmauld two weeks before school started. At breakfast her first day she casually detonated a verbal nuke at the table.

"Mrs. Weasley?" she asked.

"Yes, dear?"

"Have you ever heard of the White Council?"

From the reactions of every adult Wizard in the room you would think she had used every profane swear word known to Wizard-kind. Mrs. Weasley dropped the large platter of bacon, sausages, eggs and toast she had been levitating to the table, Tonks fell off her chair, Moody's eyebrows shot up into what little hairline he had left and Mr Weasley's tea cup exploded. Both Sirius and Remus dropped what they were holding - which turned out to be the crockery and silverware needed for breakfast and two pitchers of juice. It was all now a huge, scattered mess all over the stone floor, mixing in with Molly's wonderful cooking.

Ron stared in dismay at the ruins of breakfast. He took in the stunned and horrified faces of the adults before turning to Hermione and asking "What Did You Say?!" (He'd been talking Quidditch with Harry and not paying attention.)

"I take that as a yes.", said Hermione drily, eyeing the mess on the floor. The adults flushed and muttered a bit before using their wands to good effect and cleaning up the mess. Half an hour, and a fast Apparition to a great little bakery Remus knew of, everyone was seated with the beverage and breakfast pastry of their choice. The teens were watching the adults, all of them now waiting for the answer to Hermione's question.

Moody took the lead, his work within the Aurors Office and his own paranoia meant he had gathered quite a lot of information. A quick, fortifying slug from his flask went into his black coffee and he addressed the table.

"The White Council predates the Ministry, Merlin himself founded it. He was on par with the Founders, one of their first students, and a teacher in his younger years. Helped with some enchantments on the school even. He had a different grasp of magic. One unlike anyone before or since. When he got older he founded the White Council as a governing body for the magical community. He wrote the Seven Laws of Magic. Break those laws, and the Wardens come for you. They can come out of nowhere and get you anywhere too, they know how to use the Ways. The Council are NOT to be trifled with. They very rarely give second chances. I have only heard of one case and the poor kid was under what they call The Sword Of Damocles for years. One single mistake and he'd have been dead. Mind you Dresden is mad that one, been trying his damnedest to get himself killed . Got a bigger saving people thing then Potter. If any of you see one of their Wardens, the Grey Cloaks, get gone fast. Apparate if you have to, screw the law."

"But, Sir, we don't know how..." Hermione began. Sirius interrupted her. "We planned to teach you all before you go back, Hermione. Harry gets into too much trouble as it is. He needs another way to get out of it. Voldemort won't expect a fifteen year old to be able to Apparate. It'll only work once, but it's enough. No one tell Snivellus."

"Sirius..." Remus warned.

"I am not being a dick! Snape has to let that snake faced bastard into his head. He doesn't NEED another secret to hide. It's for Harry's safety. The less people who know, the better. The only reason Molly and Arthur know is because Ron and Ginny are taking lessons, too."

"Why Ginny?" asked Ron, nonplussed.

"Riddle possessed her, Ron. She had his bloody diary! So, of course, she is of interest to him. If for no other reason but to punish her for it being destroyed." Hermione sniped. Then in a more polite voice added, "And Harry saved her life. He nearly died in the process and he killed his pet basilisk to do it. It's irrelevant anyway, He'd take any one of us to get to Harry. Ginny, me or you, especially. Everyone knows how close we all are."

Ron grimaced. The thought of Death-Eaters touching either Ginny or Hermione made his stomach clench and his hands shake. He didn't fancy a vacation with them either but would rather it were him instead of the girls. He looked away, vowing that the girls would not be alone that year, if he had to blackmail, bully or coerc the twins and his fellow Gryffs, so be it.

Fred, out of curiosity or an attempt to lighten the mood asked, "So, how do you recognize a Warden?"

Moody sipped his coffee. He'd made it himself with his own pot. "They just show up, out of nowhere, no sound, nothing. They wear long gray cloaks with deep hoods. Legend has it blood does not stick to the Warden Cloak. They also always, almost to a man, carry enchanted silver swords. Swords that can cut through and dispel magic. Currently they are led by a woman I know only as Luccio and her right hand, Morgan. He's also their executioner."

The kitchen was quiet.

"So knowing their Seven Laws might be a good idea?" prompted Hermione. Moody nodded slowly.

"Their laws are somewhat different from ours, like their magic is. They don't like us 'Wanded Wizards' much, think we violate the laws, take too many liberties with the muggles and such, but they leave us to police our own, unless things get really crazy or the Muggles get too involved. We haven't had a visit from the White Council in a while. Last time was bad enough, they sent the Blackstaff to speak to Bagnold about You-Know-Who." Moody chuckled darkly.

"Who is this Blackstaff?" asked Sirius, curious. He'd been told horror stories about 'Wardens' as a child, the Wardens had been his mother's answer to the boogieman for bad children, and heard he'd heard stories and rumours in Azkaban. The idea his mother hadn't been lying left a bad taste in his mouth, though the notion she'd have had more to fear from them then he amused him no end.

"The Council's biggest gun. He's Scary. And he is powerful. Bagnold needed three shots of Ogden's and a fresh set of robes after he left her office. Not that anyone knew how he even got in there in the first place. Apparently he gave her an ultimatum, deal with the Warlock or they would. If it hadn't been for Harry, the Wardens would have come calling for You Know Who." Moody chuckled, "I would really like to see that. Old Lucius wouldn't be so uppity facing a Warden or three."

Hermione coughed gently "What are the laws, Mr. Moody?"

She really wanted the answer to her question, Harry mused .

"According to the White Council the Seven Laws are;

Thou shalt not kill,

Thou shalt not transform others,

Thou shalt not invade the mind of another,

Thou shalt not enthrall another,

Thou shalt not reach beyond the Border of Life,

Thou shalt not swim against the currents of time, and finally,

Thou Shalt not open the Outer Gates."

Silence filled the room. Then Hermione whispered,"What do they do if you break the law?"

"They chop off your head with one of those swords. _Swish-Thump_." said Moody, thumping the floor with his wooden foot for emphasis. Then he looked at Hermione, his sharp old eyes narrowing.

"Why all the questions, girlie?" he asked, suspicious.

"Um... well, ah... I did some research on the man Dumbledore hired as DADA professor... then I met this old hedge wizard, said his name was Binder. He knows him. Said he was leaving the country before he got here. And he's apparently a Warden now... He hired Harry Dresden"

 **Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore's No Good, Very Bad Day.**

Albus Dumbledore, a man with too many names and too many secrets sunk into the opulent chair behind his desk and rested his head tiredly against the headrest. He had had one of the worst days he could remember. And he could remember quite a few.

His morning had began early, with the usual depressing amount of mail. He had been making good headway when a loud bang from below his office had startled him into tipping his tea all over the freshly inked correspondence, his new silver robes and his lap. He'd just refilled his cup and the tea had been scalding hot. In his hurry to get up, his beard had tangled with his quill, and somehow the inkwell joined the mess. Frustrated, and not a little discomfited by the scalding tea in his lap, Albus held his robes away from his skin with one hand and vanished the mess with the other. He looked grumpily at the sodden and ruined letters, they were beyond saving even with magic. He would have to start over. Sighing he went to change his robes and saw brilliant red marks that stung all down the front of his thighs and in other places that didn't bear mentioning. He would have to go see Poppy or Severus for a burn salve, he realized.

Re-dressed and decidedly uncomfortable, Albus went in search of Poppy. It would be too humiliating to go to Severus, and it was close to breakfast time anyway, maybe there would be waffles! A quick but humiliating visit with Poppy and Albus's legs and assorted bits were no longer sore and red. The same could not have been said for his cheeks or the tips of his ears. It had been a thoroughly embarrassing experience.

He arrived in the Great Hall to see much of the staff at the high table breaking their fast. Settling into his throne-like chair he perused the table. No waffles, or bacon, not even raspberry jam. Plenty of fruits, yogurts and oatmeal plus other 'high fiber' options though. He snorted. The elves took taking care of their Wizards seriously. With the students absent from the castle the sweet, high energy foods needed to power a growing young witch or wizard were swapped out for a diet more beneficial for adults, grown into their magic. Using magic burnt a lot of energy. The high carb factor also helped keep the students warm in the bitter climate until they mastered warming charms. Fortunately with magic, tooth decay was rare, for which Albus was eternally grateful. He did so love his sweets.

After a bland but healthy breakfast, Albus had artfully dodged Sybil Trelawney and was making his way back to his office and the mountain of paperwork awaiting him when he heard an almighty CLANG and a terrorized feline yowl unlike anything he had ever heard before. Then he heard Peeves, who had apparently come out of his hiding place and started making mischief with a vengeance.

"Ding Dong Dell, Pussy in the Well!" He was cackling."HA HA Poor Pussy.. You're all wet! did Peevsie scare you!"

Albus closed his eyes and counted to three. Then he headed for the sound of the noise. If Peeves had pranked McGonagall... well, Hogwarts might soon be poltergeist-free. The Bloody Baron and Filch would be terribly bored.

Entering his Deputy's office, he froze in his tracks. His deputy crouched, in her feline form, as far back in the corner of the room as she could get. Her fur would have stuck up everywhere if she wasn't soaking wet, and yet she still looked three times bigger then normal. Her back was arched, her tail a whip of striped fury, and her eyes were wild and rolling, as hisses and growls emitted from her throat. Lying on the floor was a overturned cauldron, a spreading puddle of water and a large iron ladle. Peeves rolled about the ceiling howling with laughter.

Until he saw Dumbledore. Who was definitely _not_ laughing. A severe trauma or fright to a witch or wizard whilst in their animagus form was not for the good. The poltergeist bolted from the office, a small storm of 'fire' flies on his tail as he shot towards the staircases.

The damage however, had been done. Minerva was stuck. She'd apparently been enjoying a 'cat' nap in the warm morning sun when Peeves had dumped the cauldron full of water over her before banging it hard with the ladle. The shock and trauma had trapped her in her feline form and her magic would not let her revert.

It took several hours for her to calm down and stop hissing at and scratching anyone who got close. Albus, Severus, Poppy and Filius had all been badly scratched by the traumatized feline. Eventually a bleeding Severus sent a house-elf for Hagrid, whose tough skin paid no mind to the cat's claws. He scolded the Wizards in the room for 'scaring' her and soon had the professor safely curled up with one of her own tartan scarves, and settled in a bright red and gold cat basket a particularly bold Gryffindor had gifted her. Her amber-green eyes looked wild as she peeked out. She had obviously been trying to transform back, and her behavior had become more anxious and stressed as she realized she could not. With Hagrid's huge but gentle hands rubbing her ears, the schools Deputy Headmistress had begun to purr as she drifted into exhausted sleep.

For their part the other teachers were shocked. Minerva was a Transfiguration Mistress, a protegee of Albus himself. She had helped reverse more botched attempts at human transformation and transfiguration then any of them put together, it had become her specialty. St. Mungo's would call her for help at times and she gave summer seminars every year to Healers everywhere. And now she was trapped in her own feline body, unable to revert out of it. Dumbledore studied the now sleeping cat calmly, but inside he was reeling. His Deputy Headmistress, Transfiguration Professor and the Head of one of his Houses, was stuck as a cat. A very stressed, vicious and upset cat.

Who had scratched and bitten him! Repeatedly!

Back in his office he found three Howlers duking it out over his desk, attempting to shred a fourth between them. More mail had piled up on his desk, on top was another letter from the Ministry. He sighed and sent a House Elf for some sandwiches and soup, he would not be making it to the Great Hall for lunch it would seem.

A quick flick of his wand and the four Howlers were consigned to the fireplace. He was, quite simply, not in the mood. He settled at his desk, opened the Ministry scroll and felt his heart sink. Using a newly-created law, the Ministry was sending him Dolores Umbridge- whether he wanted her or not -as she was to be the Ministry's new, official Representative within Hogwarts. He hadn't managed to protect his students from the toad after all. She would not be teaching however, so should have little to do with the students. He read further. Damnation. The Ministry was giving her the same power as the other teachers, she would be able to deduct points and issue detentions. He would need to have Min-... dammit, Remus -warn young Harry about her. Not that the lad would need much of a warning, having seen her in action at his trial.

The House Elf popped back in, interrupting his musings. _"Skippio is sorries headmasters Whiskers but bad Peeves is in the kitchens, Sirs, he's making messes and He is scarsesies the little elvsies, Sirs."_

Dumbledore sighed and glanced at a portrait to the left. Its occupant nodded and disappeared, "It's quite alright, Skippy" he reassured the little elf. "The Bloody Baron will be along shortly." Really he would have to get the Baron to do something about Peeves. He was being a right pain. He always was, when there were no 'ickle firsties' to torment. This year it would not be good for the Poltergeist to get too rambunctious. Unless he could be pointed in the right direction that was. Albus chuckled, he was sure Umbridge would come under fire from Peeves 'attentions' very quickly. He pushed aside the scroll, and begun his paperwork. Again.

Lunch was very late and he found snails in his woke from her nap, found herself still a cat and took to growling at him from beneath his desk, swiping at his ankles if he moved his foot to close to her. Peeves dropped and damaged another three suits of armour and five statues The elves made tripe for dinner. Something they only did when they were particularly upset. Dessert wasn't any better. "Not rice pudding again" griped Mary-Jane Milne, Charity Burbage's young apprentice.

Unusually Severus was almost joyful as he ate without noticing his meal and waxed poetic about his sojourns to the Chamber of Secrets, a place Albus had not had any time to go and explore himself. Albus retired to his still mail-filled office to sulk... err, do paperwork.

He thoughtlessly selected a lemon drop, unwrapped it and popped it in his mouth. He sucked happily for a second before his eyes widened and he spat the offending sweet out. Grabbing the bowl he examined the remaining sweets carefully. Instead of a tiny stylized lemon, the image was of something far more terrible! It was as he had feared! Some evil, vile, hateful, vicious, despicable villain had replaced his lemon drops with _banana_ flavored ones! Albus _hated_ banana.

Fawkes chose that moment to flame into the room, and swoop over his wizard's head, just for Phoenix shits and giggles. Unfortunately, this startled Albus who jumped out of his seat, standing up too fast and spinning on his heel. Which was, of course, right on top of the spat-out sweet. It was small and round, and the heel of Albus's shoe was rather skinny and pointy (like his nose). The inevitable happened and the Portraits, hidden Professor Cat and Phoenix witnessed some rather impressive interpretive ballet. Albus wound up on his ass, elbow and knees in a tangle. Fawkes thrilled at him and Albus could have sworn the damned bird was _laughing_. Merlin knew the Portraits were. They tittered, cackled, guffawed, hooted and howled. Some even had tears running down their painted faces. Dilys Derwent giggled, Phyllida Spore actually snorted. That fool Dippet had fallen from his painted chair he was laughing so hard. Even Phineas Black seemed amused. From his much lowered elevation he could see that Minerva had at some point, vented her feline displeasure on the legs of his desk and chair. As she was still stuck as a cat he knew he would need new furniture soon, having learned from past experience magic would not remove those marks. Then he met a pair of feline eyes and knew, without a doubt, EVERYONE was going to hear about this.

It was also whilst in this undignified position that the Headmaster of Britain's only magical school found himself completely exposed when his flu suddenly flared to life and he was literally bombarded by the voices of the Order he had left at Grimmauld Place.

He couldn't make out much

"You hired..."

"You're insane!"

"We're Doomed"

"The White Council, Albus!"

"Harry Fucking Dresden..."

"WARDENS!"

"He'll burn down the school!"

"We're Doomed!"

"Are you mad?!"

"He kills werewolves!"

"We're Doomed!"

"The man's a lunatic!"

"They made him a Warden, Albus!"

Yes, indeed. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was having a No Good Very Bad Day.


	4. Chapter 4

You Want Who

A Dresden/Potter Cross-over

 _You guys know the drill and the standard disclaimer, and if you don't, well all the characters, money and fame belongs to Jim and Jo. I'm just playing with their legos._

Chapter 4

"I get Knocked Down.. But I get Up Again"

My first day with the Wanded Wizards was something else. I spent most of it either in a state of utter shock, desperately trying to, at best, hold my tongue or at least not laugh out loud. That is, when I wasn't tempted to curse the whole stupid lot of them. I'd often thought the magically-inclined lacked logic. Or common sense. After one day with Dumbledore, I had empirical proof.

My escort to the hidden world of wonders was a very old man who dressed like a color-blind Merlin. Disney version. He even had the pointy hat and long wild white hair. The man's beard had to be over a century old! He was tall and thin but spry and incredibly agile for a man of his years. Brilliant blue eyes twinkled at me from a kind, aged face. Even with the grandfatherly smile I knew this man had Power. His handshake confirmed it. His magic buzzed like an electrical current against my skin making my teeth rattle. His bushy white eyebrows shot up as he registered my own power. I very carefully avoided a soul gaze. Lasciel's shadow, which I had taken to calling Lash, had warned me that the Wanded Wizards could be very gifted at the mind arts. Bob agreed, and mentioned Dumbledore by name. I just knew we would be having a long chat about the Seven Laws soon.

I was impressed when the old man sent my luggage and Mister in his carrier, hissing and spitting like a demon, off to Hogwarts with a simple flick of his wand. I might have to learn that trick. I briefly wondered if I could get a wand.

That's when everything went sideways. Literally. And not quite in the usual way. On a personal note, I am going to kill Ebenezer, I am NOT talking to Lash, nor is Bob getting ANY new romances. They all could have warned me. As for the gaudy Gandalf? Well, if his shoes are even more colorful now, it's his own fault.

And for the record I _hate_ Portkeys! I utterly and irrevocably refuse to _ever_ travel that way again. I'll damned well find a Way, hold hands with my godmother and skip along singing next time. I don't care. I'd rather deal with the Never-never and Lea any day of the week. I'd thought the old man a bit senile when he held out the brightly colored sock and told me to get a good grip on it and on Mouse. The sensation of being grabbed by my belly-button and sucked through a thin tube before spinning wildly through thin air was highly unpleasant. Holding onto a freaking out Mouse and not letting go of the sock was difficult. The landing was painful. I sat on my ass on the pavement of a dreary, ill-kept square littered with trash and lined with rundown, grim little houses. Mouse was giving us dirty looks as he shook out his legs and head. Beside me Dumbledore stood looking completely serene. I staggered to my feet then promptly threw up all over his shiny shoes. Served him right. He should have warned me.

"Welcome to Britain, Mr. Dresden." he said, amusement coloring his tone. He flicked his wand and the mess and smell vanished. So not fair. I eyed the sock he still held.

"What the hell was that?!" I asked. He chuckled and tucked the offending item in his pocket.

"International Portkey. I do apologize, Portkeys take some getting used to, especially long distance. It is however quite the quickest way to travel."

I glared at him. "You could have warned me." I growled. The old man gave me a beatific smile.

"Where would the fun be in that?" he chuckled. "Now I need to introduce you to a few people. It seems one of our more brilliant students took it upon herself to research her newest Defense teacher and has managed to thoroughly alarm a great number of my allies." He smiled at me. I sighed. Apparently my reputation has preceded me even here.

"Yeah. Alright."

"Very good. The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix is at Number 12 Grimmauld Place." I blinked at the old man for a minute then realized another house was literally growing out of the middle of the row of run-down old townhouses. Between Numbers 11 and 13, an even darker and more decrepit old house appeared. Without further ado Dumbledore led me up the steps and into one of the darkest, foulest houses I had ever entered.

The threshold barely registered. This house had never known love. Vicious dark wards battered me as we walked within however. Nasty Stuff. Dark, ugly magic pressed at my skin. Evil had been done here. A lot. What? The? Hell? I thought I was working for the good guys, wasn't I? Because this house was wrong. The very walls were saturated in dark magics and pain. Mouse growled beside me. Dumbledore shot a look back and quickly pressed a finger to his lips. He moved quietly past a floor length drape of moldy fabric. Old gas lamps lit the hallway, not that it improved the decor, which was dull and grimy. The house must have been empty until very recently. It explained the high levels of creepiness. And dust. I stifled a sneeze.

We'd made it only a few steps before the narrow, cluttered hallway and Mouse's bulk came to the inevitable conclusion. Something got knocked over. And the moldy curtains flew open to reveal a moving painting of the maddest, most howling nuts woman I had ever seen. And I've fought Denarians and ghouls. It howled and screeched, eyes rolling wildly as profanity and painted spittle spewed from its mouth.

"Begone, Filth! Scum! Worthless by-products of dirt and vileness, how dare you besmirch the great house of Black with your foul, unworthy blood?! You sully my family home with y-"

Now I've been part of the war against the Red Court for a while now. And several years as the only wizard in the phone book had exposed me to some very nasty things. I am more than a little jumpy, and prone to being trigger-happy. Or, more accurately, fire-happy. So when the painted harpy started shrieking my blasting rod came out and the tip was against the painted surface instantly, glowing brightly with Hellfire.

"Shut. Up.", I snapped and the painting wisely fell silent. If Lash and Bob hadn't briefed me on certain aspects of this world... I don't know how well the Order's secrecy spells would work with a fiery hole being blasted through the row of tenements.

Once the painting nodded I sheathed the Blasting Rod and ambled over to Dumbledore, who was simply staring at me. A too-thin, good-looking man with long black hair and gray eyes, grinned over his shoulder. I stared hard at the man before dismissing his resemblance to a Rath as pure coincidence.

"That was awesome! No one has ever shut my mother up that fast! Do you think you can get her down? Or burn it?" I blinked at the man. He reddened and ducked back through the door he came through. Shrugging I followed Dumbledore through the evil house, down into what was apparently a basement kitchen. And I blindly followed him into my own interrogation.

My Life.

To be fair, the first ten minutes, all polite introductions and being offered tea that grand tradition of the British, weren't bad. I relaxed a little whilst Molly Weasley, a shorter, plumper and red-haired clone of Charity Carpenter, bustled about preparing fresh tea and laying out biscuits and scones on the battered wooden table that dominated most of the large basement kitchen.

Here at least it was fairly clean, if not bright and homely. Good smells wafting from the stove considerably dissipated the room's oppressive atmosphere. I took everything in as I was introduced, mostly by generally known titles or nicknames, to the room at large. No one gave their full names. Apparently they'd done their homework on _my_ kind.

Formerly retired Auror "Call me Mad-Eye" Moody was quite the sight. He looked more like a battered and chipped piece of gnarled old wood than a human and was missing more chunks of him than seemed to be left, including a few fingers, a leg, a large chunk of his nose and one of his eyes. His gray hair was shaved very short and close to his scalp and I noticed he made and poured his own tea. He came off just like an old warrior, one who'd seen it all before, wasn't shocked by any of it, and could see trouble was brewing. He eyed me and Mouse with clear distrust and a touch of trepidation. I pegged him as one who knew of the White Council, the Wardens and what we meant. He seemed content to watch and evaluate for now. Definitely the old beat cop of the group.

Flanking him were his apprentices/subordinates or I'd eat my hat. You know.. if I had one. To his right sat one Kingsley Shacklebolt, a large and powerfully built black man with a smile reminiscent of Sanya. He was following his mentor's lead, taking it all in. On Moody's left sat a slender young woman who introduced herself just as 'Tonks'. I blinked and couldn't help but ask, "Is your first name THAT bad?"

The room exploded into giggles and guffaws as the girl's face flushed bright red. Followed by her hair, which cycled wildly through several shades of red before settling back to the cheery bubblegum pink she'd sported before. I blinked again, shrugged and commented, "My friend's daughter would love to be able to do that."

The attractive Raith wannabe turned out to be a man by the name of Sirius Black, aka Padfoot, aka Snuffles. Don't ask me, I'm the new guy. He'd returned to his place at the table beside a worn, tired looking man he called "Moony". To whom I was later introduced properly as Remus Lupin.

There was a confusing mass of redheads, but I figured out the pecking order fairly quickly. The Weasley matriarch, Molly, seemed to run things, but her soft-spoken husband was clearly in charge. Arthur Weasley had an easy-going, affable personality offset by a burning curiosity about the 'Muggle' world. He reminded me strongly of Michael.

Of their seven children I met their four youngest and liked them. The twins were irrepressible jokers, though their twin-speak quickly gave me a headache. While I knew they were Fred and George, or was it Gred and Forge, I stayed confused. I had no idea who was who and just dubbed them Thing One and Thing Two. This had caused the two dark haired kids in the mix to snigger.

Long and lanky Ron, aka the human garbage disposal, was far more interested in food than meeting a new teacher. Though he did give me a few calculating looks while he munched steadily through more food then I'd ever seen Billy and the Alphas eat after a fight. Their youngest sister, a pretty redhead by the name of Ginny, one of the twins went to give her given name only to find a small hand twisting his ear, just smiled politely at me, apologized for her 'idiot brother' and settled back in her chair with the air of someone who knows if she's small and quiet, she would hear more than if the adults actually noticed her.

Standing by the fireplace was a tall, sallow skinned man with an unfortunate beak of a nose, dark greasy hair and flat black eyes. He wore all black and projected an air of menace. Or he would have if he were holding something other than an annoyed-looking tabby cat carefully in his arms. Dumbledore introduced him as the Potions Master of Hogwarts, Severus Snape.

The cat was apparently Minerva McGonagall, Deputy of Hogwarts, Transfiguration Mistress extraordinaire and Head of Gryffindor House. She was also stuck. As a cat. Again, new guy, don't ask me.

The other young non red-heads were introduced as Harry Potter and Hermione Granger.

It was Hermione who led the inquisition. Her questions about the council, the stories about me, about the Wardens and about the laws were sharp, intelligent and rapid fire. I had to stop and think for a minute before settling on a blanket response that I hoped would calm a few fears.

"I am a Warden, yes and _technically_ I work for the Council, sometimes. But I'm here as a favor to my mentor, not on orders from the Council. I prefer to keep the Wardens and the Council out of my business when I can help it." I couldn't hide a grimace. "I'm here to teach Defense. If any Dark Wizards show up and cause trouble, I'll put on the cloak and do my duty. Until then, I'm happy to just be the new teacher."

Oddly enough this appeased quite a few people, and I was soon being filled in on Hogwarts, the 'You-Know-Who' situation and the utter incompetence of the current Minister of Magic. I barely restrained my snickers at the idea of a politician named Fudge. Professor Snape and his feline companion left, followed by Moody and his sidekicks. Dumbledore too made his excuses, offering to return for me later when he'd done some urgent paperwork. I was taking Molly's invitation to dinner as an excuse to get to know a few of my future students better. The creepy little gnome thing Sirius referred to as Kreacher before banishing it to its room gave me the willies. He reeked of something foul.

Mrs. Weasley could put a five star chef to shame. Over a delicious dinner, the teens regaled me with tales of their adventures, or rather misadventures, at Hogwarts. The twins were pranksters through and through but conceded that Harry, Hermione and Ron had them beat for finding trouble.

The thrilling tale of the beginning of their friendship, way back in first year was told, starting with a teacher who couldn't act, a rampaging Mountain Troll in a toilet, Harry's wand, troll boogers, Ron actually listening to Hermione and culminating in Hermione fibbing to a teacher. The Twins made Harry's fight against the cursed broomstick quite the thrilling tale. Mrs. Weasley actually got up and hugged Harry. There was a lot of laughter over Hermione setting Snape on fire, she did manage to stop Quirrell after all, however accidentally. They then gave everyone near-strokes with their harrowing journey through basically what amounted to an evil obstacle course in the bid to save the legendary Philosopher's Stone. As they chatted, completely casually, about a giant three-headed dog named Fluffy and a baby dragon named Norbert that their friend Hagrid had tried raising in a wooden hut, I marveled, not for the first time, at the utter arrogance and downright stupidity of Wizards. I suppose when most injuries are so easily fixed with a potion or wave of a wand, consequences don't seem so severe. I felt Lash stir when Harry described the parasitic Quirrelmort but was distracted by the twins, who gaped at Harry for a moment before looking at one another in shock.

"Freddie, didn't we..?"

"I think we did, Georgie..."

"...during the Christmas Holidays..."

"After the snow ball fight..."

"We're so Awesome!"

And the twin red devils began laughing. Harry caught on a second later and cackled. "I forgot about you two charming those snowballs!" Hermione and Ron caught on a second later and joined in the laughter, Hermione explaining to the clueless adults in between giggles that the twins had charmed several snowballs to repeatedly pelt into the back of Quirrell's ridiculous purple turban. They'd been effectively pelting the most evil Dark Lord in recent history in the face with snowballs. Maybe the best part was that they hadn't even realized it. Remus and Sirius, who'd made the serious/Sirius joke five times since I'd met him in response to my four jokes about it, had laughed themselves sick at this. Arthur had just chuckled and Molly moaned, probably envisioning horrible deaths for her sons if Voldemort ever caught up with them. Personally I found it pretty funny, I looked forward to teaching this younger generation. With the right preparation and training these kids would soon put the hurt on Voldie and his followers. If I didn't just go clean his clock first.

As the night wore on though I struggled to control my anger. These idiots had trolls, giant spiders, soul-eaters, and dragonets in a school filled with defenseless children, not to mentioned possessed teachers, rampaging werewolves, death eaters in disguise and a basilisk!

Then there was the underlying message that Harry's home life was not a happy one, the twins mentioned they'd 'stolen' their Dad's flying car to rescue The Boy Who Lived from a locked room with bars on the window. Harry had flushed scarlet as they had gone on in great detail about all the locks on the door to his room, and on the cupboard under the stairs and expressed great indignation at the implications behind a cat flap in his bedroom door and a hand-lettered sign proclaiming Harry's Room taped to the wall of the aforementioned cupboard.

I'd started the night drinking Butterbeer. Fantastic stuff. By the time we got to the 'resurrection' of the Dark Lord though, I needed something stronger. Sirius, unfortunately, had to pass me a steaming shot of Fire Whiskey, which I readily downed after hearing Harry's story. As my throat lit up with liquid fire and smoke poured out my ears I struggled to regain my composure and my breath. My eyes watered. Never again. And why don't these wizards warn people?!

I thought. Hard. Necromancy was dark, dark Magic. Forbidden by the White Council. In my head I suddenly felt Lash's presence, Scorn and anger coloured her presence. For a heartbeat, nothing more, she was once again what she'd been before she'd fallen, and she was angry. I sent her a mental message to calm down and we'd talk as soon as I could get away. She was somewhat mollified but I could all but see her folding her arms and huffing with impatience.

As the tale wound down with Sirius still a wanted man, Harry and Dumbledore copping flak in the newspapers whilst outsmarting the Minister of Magic and his toady in their own farce of a trial, I was rather glad to see the Headmaster pop out of the fireplace. I welcomed the idea of some quiet space to gather my thoughts.

Floo travel with Mouse was marginally better than that damned Portkey. I fell out the other end into the weirdest office I'd ever seen. Magic practically exuded from the dozens of gizmos and gadgets in the room and both Mouse and I suddenly felt very big and clumsy. Dumbledore and I wore matching amused expressions as Mouse and Dumbledore's brightly hued feathered friend took each others measure.

"Fawkes is a Phoenix. Incredible creatures. He seems to like your dog.", Dumbledore murmured. Indeed, Fawkes had fluttered to the floor and was rubbing his beak against Mouse's nuzzle. The big dog in turn had lay down, his head on his paws, a look of relaxed content on his doggy face. I took one of the chairs across from Dumbledore and he ran me, quite quickly, through what he wanted from me as Defense Professor. My yawns cut short our meeting and Dumbledore assured me most of the information I'd need would be in the Defense Professor's office anyway.

I blearily followed him through the strangeness of Hogwarts, too tired to really pay attention to my new digs. I set my password - Blue Beetle - and shuffled my way across to the huge four-poster bed in the adjacent chamber. Mouse flopped down in front of the living room fireplace. Shucking out of my heavy outerwear, I slipped beneath the thick quilts into the surprisingly soft bed.

My head barely hit the pillows and I was asleep.

I was back in that familiar space. Only Lash stood there, arms folded and foot tapping. Her outfit was a severe gray suit and her hair, whilst still blonde, was up in a severe bun. She looked pissed.

"Can we finally talk now?!" she burst out. I just blinked at her. Up until now Lash had been sweet, coaxing, rarely angry. Always oh-so-polite and respectful. However I was not going to show her I was rattled.

"Hey, watch it. We're still in my head." Lash huffed and waved her hands.

"Yes-yes, My Host, but this is too _important_. You do not know what I know, or how important this is!" I blinked at her. Lash was flat out agitated like I had never seen before.

"Okay, will you explain what has you so upset?" I asked, caution in my voice. Anything that could stir up one of the Fallen this much couldn't be good.

"I know how that... that _thing_ kept his life after attacking the boy as a baby. I know what that _diary_ was! I could sense another, maybe two, in that house! And make no mistake, it is dark magic, some of the darkest there is. Kemmlar himself used it. The Council long ago destroyed all the texts they could find on their creation and forbid even to mention of it, it is so foul. This Voldemort has created horcruxes. Plural. He is not just evil, My Host, he is utterly insane."

I blinked at her, not comprehending. The term and was totally new to me. Which would make sense if this Horcrux thing were so bad the Council destroyed all record of it.

"A Horcrux, Harry, is a container housing a piece of someone's soul. A piece he has torn off himself with a dark ritual act and placed within a prepared vessel. A ritual that demands the violent death of an innocent to perform. With a Horcrux a person can supposedly live forever, and can be returned to life if he is destroyed." Lash grimaced. "It is a way to cheat Death itself but the creation of a Horcrux damages the creator, leaves them less human, less sane and far more cruel. I sensed two fragments in that house, but not where they were. I have never heard of any Wizard creating multiple horcruxes My Host, it is insane! You are dealing with a true monster.".

My sleep was somewhat less restful after that.

 _The following week_

Hogwarts was like nothing else. It was incredible. Beautiful. Set against a backdrop of snowy mountains, surrounded by green hills and a gleaming dark lake, the ancient castle rose majestic and solid against the softening night. Golden lights gleamed from only a handful of the many windows. The students weren't in residence yet so much of the castle was dark. And it was a castle make no mistake, with turrets, battlements, statuary and crenellations everywhere.

My first morning I'd taken Mouse out a side entrance for his morning ablutions and decided to reenter the castle through the front doors, out of curiosity.

Entering through a set of truly impressive doors I had been floored by the stunning entrance. A huge sweeping staircase rose up one level and then exploded into hundreds of other staircase... staircases? Staircasii? ( stupid Latin correspondence course.) all moving and all seeming to go up forever. The stone walls were covered in portraits, paintings and tapestries. And they moved. I watched one, a safari scene playing out with a giraffe and its young, carefree and majestic meandered along munching leaves. A lion lay, just visible, beneath a distant tree. I peeked into of an immense hall, its ceiling a perfect reflection of the still-dark early morning sky outside with hundreds of unlit candles floating beneath it, hovering over four long tables. Continuing on Mouse and I climbed several of the crazy staircases, one of which spun right round whilst we were still on it, and came to a green door. Dumbledore let me in and introduced me, briefly, to his staff.

My first staff meeting was an eye-opening experience. I found I liked most of the other Professors. Flitwick was just awesome. Hagrid was one of the few people I had ever had to look up to but I liked him. So did Mouse. Vector, Babbling, Burbage and her assistant Ms. Milne, seemed prone to rather unladylike tittering among themselves and Professor McGonagal was still stuck as a cat. Madames Sprout and Hooch were good sorts and Poppy Pomfrey was a lovely woman. And of course, Professor Trelawney. On first glance I thought I was looking at a giant grasshopper and the image stuck. Her name may have been Sybil but she was forever Bug Lady in my head. She was also off her rocker.

The two who interested me most were the Headmaster and the Potions Master. Neither chanced meeting my eyes, even for a second and the Potions Master, Snape, seemed to be holding back actual glee. The other teachers later told me he'd been in something called 'the Chamber of Secrets' all summer. After hearing a little about it, I hoped I could get a look too. Giant caverns beneath the school? Very cool. Flitwick, the part goblin Charms master told me there had been a giant basilisk carcass down there, too. Killed by a certain bespectacled teenager in second year no less. Having already heard the story I mentally gave Harry a high five.. followed by a kick in the pants. Apparently the Deputy had insisted the skeleton be removed before I got here. Huh. Guess the whole Sue thing had gotten around. Honestly Wizards gossip almost as much as portraits.

Then there was the library. I found it my second day there, whilst out exploring with Mouse and Bob. Mister was off somewhere, probably trying to woo Professor McGonagal and terrorise Mrs. Norris. Mister seemed to have become enamoured of the Deputy Headmistress. Who was also a cat. Well, not normally, but apparently she had been a cat when she'd gotten a very bad fright and now she was stuck. Mister didn't care. He was in love.

Another Hogwarts resident feline, Mrs. Norris, and her detestable owner Mr. Filch, did not endear these same feelings. Mrs. Norris had tried to lord it over Mister as 'Queen' of the castle, aided and abetted by her minion, Filch. Mister didn't care for this behaviour and had expressed his imperial displeasure. Now Mrs. Norris turned and ran, usually pursued by a beleaguered Filch, whenever she saw Mister and he was free to try to woo his lady love. Who spent a lot of her time beneath the Headmaster's desk, sharpening her claws. I get the feeling he had done something to annoy her.

Anywho... back to the library. We opened the doors and... WOW. Now I'm a pretty cool guy but all those books! All on magic! I heard a definite _squee_ from Bob and knew we'd be here a lot. He might love his bodice-rippers but put books on magic in front of him, and Bob went mega-uber geek. As a spirit of intellect Bob would probably absorb the entirety of the library before the year was over if I let him. And I was tempted to, too. Knowledge is power after all.

I set myself and Bob up at a back corner table and proceeded to the stacks...

The librarian, Madame Pince, was not happy with the large castle of books I built myself. Personally I thought she should be grateful for something to do. She'd looked kind of bored when we first came in. Now she looked annoyed.

Ah well. BOOKS!


	5. Chapter 5

_This funny little tale came to me after reading a thread in The Dresden Files group on Facebook. I hope it amuses you as much as it amused me. The characters, places and magic here are the creations of Mr J. Butcher and Ms J. K. Rowling. I am merely playing from their sandpit so to speak. I gain nothing but amusement from my stories._

 **Discussions with Dumbledore**

I met Hogwarts' resident poltergeist my third morning in the ancient old castle. When I left my private bathroom, and my first real hot shower in too long, the evil little imp was waiting for me outside the door. He screeched in my ear and tweaked my nose. Hard. My first reaction was an unholy battle cry. I did NOT scream like a little girl. At which Peeves rolled through the air laughing instead of fleeing in terror. Once I gathered my wits I grabbed my staff and ejected the little fiend from my chambers with a blast of air. "Next time it'll be fire.", I snarled after the menace and slammed out of my rooms to go to breakfast, Mouse on my heals and Mister ghosting off in search of adventure and his Lady Love.

Of course I got lost. Mouse finally took pity on me or he was hungry, and led us to the Great Hall. Then, after a delicious breakfast, it was off to the library.

After three days of not-so-passive passive-aggressive negotiations, I gave into the inevitable and fled the domain of the evil Madam Pince. It seemed she was a wee bit protective - _cough- possessive -cough, cough-_ of her Library, and a scruffy new professor cluttering up many of her oh-so-neat tables, messing up her precisely ordered shelves and taking random stacks of tomes back to his quarters only to return just as many the next day, was NOT welcome in her domain. Especially with no students in the castle. Madam Pince it seemed, cherished her solitude and silence was indeed golden. At least to her.

I spent a day mulling over the information Lash had given me, before deciding that, as a smart detective-type guy, I needed more information. I suspected that the old mage, Dumbledore knew far more then he let on, he had that Merlin-esque mystique going on. So, being the nosey type, I began my own investigations. Easily done with Bob and Lash at my disposal, as well as one or two other resources no one would expect.

I hadn't spoken much to Ivy or rather The Archive, the living repository of all written human knowledge in the years since my duel against Ortega. We'd worked together a time or two, and she was good about giving me information as long as it didn't upset 'The Balance.' So frustrating. And she would never explain just what that meant.

On the subject of Voldemort, aka Thomas Marvolo Riddle, Ivy was quite informative. And very interested in seeing him 'dealt with.' To the point that she offered me the services of her bodyguard and daddy figure, Kincaid, should I need to do any serious fighting. It seemed cheating death offended the Archive and being what she was Ivy knew first hand exactly how something as foul as a Horcrux was made. She had been a wealth of information on Voldemort and his sycophantic minions. Apparently the Dork Lord had been a meticulous records keeper and had kept a personal journal throughout his life. All for the good in my opinion as Ivy had divulged a great deal of this information to me.

And then there was the Portraits. I may have mentioned this before, but they are tremendous gossips. By the end of my first week here I'd worked out which ones to go to for the most truthful versions of all the gossip.

My final ace in the hole was the army of House Elves who maintained the castle. I'd stumbled on the secret of the House Elves on my third day and had decided to see if my policy of pizza-driven good will would work with House Elves as well as it did with Toot-Toot and his folk.

It did. House Elves apparently loved pizza as much as their smaller brethren. They weren't as cute as Toot and his kin but just as powerful in their own way. And they heard and saw _everything_. They would not, could not betray the Headmaster, but they were good for all sorts of information. Especially that hyper little maniac, Dobby.

With just a week before the students were to return I had settling in for what would be a long boring staff meeting discussing all the preparations for the new year. I'd read through my predecessors' notes, idly noting that, despite being a fraud and a death-muncher in disguise, Moody-Crouch had done a fair job of teaching. As had Remus Lupin. Thinking of the quiet, scruffy man I mulled over the castle gossip. Apparently Dumbledore had no trouble with the mild-mannered werewolf but the public was prejudiced. Having had my own were-related troubles I understood their concerns but not the vicious laws against the affected. Remus was only dangerous two or three nights a month, my friends the Alphas were far more dangerous all the time.

I settled my long lanky frame in beside Severus Snape and joined him in eyeing the 'pink toad' in distaste. Nothing should be that shade of pink. Except maybe pepto-bismol. Dumbledore entered with a stern-looking woman wearing glasses. There was something very familiar about her and I realised it was the previously cat-stuck Professor McGonagal. She'd apparently finally changed back on her own and her forbidding look stopped any comments. Or teasing. I told myself firmly not to annoy that particular witch. If she could change herself into a cat, I didn't want to wind up as a rat or something else cats ate.

Surprisingly enough I kind of liked Severus Snape. He had a biting humour, once you got past the 'I-am-a-bad-person-stay-away' vibe he gave off. I knew quite a bit about him from Ivy and the castle gossip but I was waiting for the opportune moment to pull him into a soul-gaze, to 'see' for myself. He was very carefully avoiding said gaze. The meeting was, as I had predicted, boring as hell. I amused myself making snide remarks and jokes sotto voice as Snape choked back snickers beside me. Freed from the meeting I headed for the Great hall.

After a delicious breakfast, complete with life-saving coffee and pastries of every description, I met with Dumbledore in his office. The magical doodads and sensors made my senses buzz and I buttoned down my Sight tight. I did not need a migraine.

After some pleasantries I found myself sitting across from the venerable wizard, this era's answer to Merlin himself and within half an hour I was utterly baffled at the complete illogical behaviour of these people.

Despite all their assorted magical powers, their extensive learning and the fact every person over the age of eleven carried a deadly weapon, the entire community seemed to be hiding under their beds from a relatively small group of terrorists and one megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur. Those fighting back were getting systematically picked off and after a sequence of unfortunate events plus a bunch of complete idiots in power, almost the whole community was now against the child they once lauded as their saviour. Same said child was apparently yoked with a prophecy marking him as the downfall for aforementioned megalomaniac terrorist, hence the mad obsession.

Thanks to the kids at Grimmauld, the gossiping ghosts and the prattling portraits I already had a very clear image of what had happened in the past few years, including some very disturbing tales from the dungeons. However Dumbledore didn't know what I knew. So I let him talk. It was quiet informative, but not in the way the old man meant it to be I think.

And I wasn't buying Dumbledore's 'harmless old man' shtick for a minute. I let him play his game for a bit as he waffled around the true topic of our conversation and waxed poetic about Hogwarts. Then in true Dresden form I decided to up the ante.

"So, how many nasty soul containers _did_ the Dark Lord make? Horcrux, I believe they're called? I shudder to think of them as a plural." I ventured, casually stretching out my long legs.

Dumbledore just gaped at me, looking for all the world like a great, bearded catfish. His eyes bulged and he fish-lipped at me for a few stunned seconds. Oh, that infamous British reserve.

I sat up and spoke very quietly. "I do not like being manipulated, Mr. Dumbledore. There is a lot more going on here then just needing a teacher. And somehow I don't believe you told Ebeneezer everything either, something the old man will not take kindly when I have to contact him."

I glared. Dumbledore stared. Finally he sighed, his phoenix sung a short tune and the air in the room cooled from its tension-induced state.

"You would call in the Wardens, the Blackstaff?" whispered Dumbledore, shocked

"Damn right I am. You asked me here to teach, not clean up your mess. I'm getting my boss out here. Lets see how your Dark Lord likes it when the Wardens come knocking." I folded my arms. Dumbledore got an odd gleam in his eye for a moment then he smiled and spread his hands expansively.

"Lets Talk"

Over the next few hours Dumbledore and I talked. About Riddle, about the Wizarding World and about their war. We argued back and forth somewhat and I got a few trips into Dumbledore's memories. I really really want one of those Pensieve things! It would make detective work a piece of cake!

We got into it a few times. I could not believe someone with so much influence had done so little over the years and told him so. I sharply pointed out his missed opportunities and all the changes he could easily make, here within the school, causing him to have to stop and think before acknowledging, grudgingly, that I made several excellent points. He excused himself with his talk of fearing power and how everyone deserved redemption. I sighed. Another bloody bleeding heart. I'd had these discussions before with Michael.

"You're in a _war_ , Headmaster. It is time to take a stand. You can't just 'stun and bind' these guys, one of their fellows will revive or free them and they're right back in the fight. They have taken the gloves off, they are criminals, animals. THEY are trying to kill you, your fellow witches and wizards, innocent people who have nothing to do with. How many have died? How many children have died or never been born?" I realised I was shouting and calmed myself. "The time for negotiation and second chances is over. Innocent blood has been spilled and the price needs to be paid in kind. Any of those death-munchers come at me, I am going to respond in kind." I stared at him "But you knew that. That's why I'm really here, isn't it?"

The old man sighed and removed the little half moon spectacles he wore. He cleaned them carefully on his robes and spoke quietly. "Yes. I am getting old Mr. Dresden, and Mr. Potter is still too young, too inexperienced for this fight. You know of the Horcruxes. What you do not know is that one final fragment of Voldemort's soul is trapped within the boy's scar. It is why it hurts him to be near Voldemort, and why he has survived when others haven't. I believe Lily did something, before she died, to protect her son. However he's been lucky to this point. Voldemort's back at full power and he possesses much knowledge of Mr. Potter. Harry is more vulnerable then ever." He hung his head. "And for Voldemort to truly die, Harry must die at his hand." Tears leaked down the old man's cheeks. "I have not found any other way and I have searched and searched."

I just stared at Dumbledore, feeling sick. Lash was muttering curses in a language I did not understand. I sat thinking before I spoke. "There is a medicine man within the Council. Listens-to-Wind may be able to help."

Dumbledore looked at me, hope kindling in those bright blue eyes. "Indeed, I have heard of him."

I walked for a while after leaving Dumbledore's ivory tower. Walking helped me think. I decided I wanted to talk with young Harry, let Lash get a feel for him. After all, she had sensed the presence of not one, but two Horcruxes within the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. A series of quick notes by house-elf courier and I'd arranged to return to Headquarters by week's-end. The other notes went to Captain Lucio and to Ebeneezer. I was going to use my newly minted position as a Warden and call in the big guns on this one. Hell, taking out Death Eaters would be a great exercise for our newest Warden recruits.

So, progress made, I braved another run through dangerous territory and escaped the Library with another armful of books and only three hex marks on my leather duster. I was getting better at dodging those. Ms. Pince really didn't like me.

I stubbornly did not think about the 15 year old boy who may or may not have to die to stop a war. But I had already decided. I wasn't going to let him be their sacrificial lamb.


	6. Chapter 6

**YOU WANT WHO?**

 **Chapter 6**

 **Dresden Unleashed**

 _This funny little tale came to me after reading a thread in The Dresden Files group on Facebook. I hope it amuses you as much as it amused me. The characters, places and magic here are the creations of Mr. J. Butcher and Ms J. K. Rowling. I am merely playing from their sandbox, so to speak. I gain nothing but amusement from my stories._

 _Previous chapter has been proofed and updated. As has this one. Thanks George ;-)_

Albus really should have listened to Minerva when she had protested Dresden's appointment. The Soul Gaze with the man had left him a bit off-kilter, and the conversations with him in his office had left Dumbledore with one hell of a headache, and his conscience all but screaming at him. Dresden did not sugarcoat things and had left Albus in no doubt that he could have, should have done much more with all his power and position.

 _"You have almost one fourth of this school ready to walk into Riddle's arms the minute they graduate, and probably about half of your students will flee Britain first chance they get to gain decent employment."_

 _"You do realize if you don't sit on the mini Death-munchers now, they WILL run afoul of the Wardens and it won't be house points they lose, it'll be their heads!"_

Albus massaged his temples and tried to forget Dresden's more colorful commentary on the Horcrux problem.

 _"Hell's Bells, man! You haven't asked ANYONE for help? Really? You know our kind have had an agreement for centuries, right? Fuck! This is exactly the stuff you're supposed to call a Warden to deal with! Screw secrecy, old man! Stars and stones! No self-respecting Warden would ever go in for black magic. Damn it, I've gotta make some calls."_

Then there was the latest disastrous meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. He had thought everyone was over their shock. And for the most part everyone was. What he hadn't counted on was Dresden's particular brand of chaos.

Snape and Sirius had as usual, been circling one another, snapping and snarling like angry wolves. Dresden, seemingly half-asleep in his chair had let out an annoyed puff of air and 'politely' suggested they "either sit down and shut up or get a room". Molly had squeaked in indignation but most of the room had dissolved into giggles. When the two men protested Dresden suddenly 'woke up'. His quiet demeanor changed and he stared hard at both men. " _Sit. Down. And. Shut. Up_." His eyes locked on Snape, "Yes, he tried to kill you as a kid. Yes, he was, maybe still is, an idiot. But it is past, done and you're fine. Be the bigger man and get over it. You're a free man with a career, he's a wanted fugitive who has to disguise himself as a mangy dog, stuck in this place day-in and day-out. Who do you think has the better deal?"

Snape bowed his head a little watching Dresden's focus to shift to Sirius.

"You... you I don't know about. You say Remus is your friend, right?" Sirius nodded vigorously.

"Hell's Bells man, if that's how you treat a friend, I'd hate to be your enemy. Did you ever consider, even for a minute, what would have happened if Remus had bitten Snape?"

"He'd have gotten sick, that greasy..."

"He'd have _died_." Dresden snapped, glaring at Sirius. "Did you even consider that? _If_ Remus had bitten Snape, scratched him, turned him - or worse - killed him, he would have been put. To. Death. No trial, no excuses. You would have caused the death of your friend for a foolish prank. Not only that but Dumbledore would probably have been fired and you would have been expelled with your wand snapped. You _do_ know your own laws, don't you?" He stared at Sirius. "And there was something else you did not consider. Had Snape been turned, who do you think he would've hunted down like a dog? Outside whose window would he have waited to transform the first full moon he could find you? He is a Slytherin after all. No matter where you tried to hide, he would have found you." Sirius's eyes slid to Snape who was staring hard at him, a gleam of malicious pleasure in his eye.

"Indeed I would have. Had you cursed me, as Lupin is cursed, I would not have blamed him. Oh no. He would have been your pawn. No, I would have come after you." Sirius shivered and swung guilty eyes to Remus, who was quiet and whey-faced. "I-I'm sorry, Moony.", he whispered. Remus nodded his head and looked away.

For the rest of the meeting everyone seemed to be quietly mulling over the confrontation. Dresden contented himself with slogging off to meet the kids. In hindsight, if he hadn't been lost in thought himself, Dumbledore may have tried to prevent that.

 **Conversation with Kreacher**

As I left the kitchen and the 'adult' members of the Order to digest my last little bombshell, I paused, seeing what looked like an ear on a string disappearing up the stairwell. I grinned. The Weasley twins were high on my list for recruitment against the Pink Terror. Her presence in Hogwarts was highly undesirable, the ancient castle herself seemed to be out to spite the woman. Staircases would move whenever she stepped on them, taking her as far from her chosen destination as they could, doors would refuse to open and well-known passageways would vanish. She was frequently late and frazzled as the Ghosts joined in on the fun and would pop out at her whenever they felt like it. Unfortunately, as entertaining as this was it was also annoying as we had to listen to her complain incessantly about it.

Halfway up the stairs to where the kids were hiding out I overheard the muttering old house elf as it bustled about the Black library. Ooh... more books, drool... _focus, Dresden._

Sirius had dismissed the elf as somewhat evil and a sycophant to the old ways but I was curious so I stopped and Listened.

At first the old elf was simply bemoaning the fate of the House of Black and lamenting how "his poor Mistress" would never have stood for "blood traitors and Mudbloods" desecrating her home. I learned a few interesting insults before the elf's lament changed.

"Kreacher has failed his mistress, he has, just like he failed brave Master Regulus. Bad Kreacher.", he moaned. "Master commanded Kreacher to destroy the locket, to keep it secret, to tell no one in the family what he had done. Oh, poor Kreacher. He promised his master! Kreacher tried but Kreacher failed. Kreacher punished himself, oh yes. Kreacher tries and tries, but Kreacher fails.", the bullfrog voice moaned.

I stood there, mouth open. The old Elf had the locket. The one Dumbledore believed to be in an Inferi-infested cave. Now to obtain the locket without upsetting the old elf.

I quietly entered the library and moved to one of the recliners by the heavily-curtained windows. I sat and waited for the elf to acknowledge me. His mutterings sped up as he mulled over my appearance.

"This tall one is new... his magic smells different. They call him a Warden.. Kreacher wonders why he is here, yes he does."

I studied the elf silently, Lash murmuring softly in my head. "The Elf's bond pains him. He has been unable to fulfill his Master's last command. They are a curious creature, the House Elf. Their magic is symbiotic with that of the family they bond with. Those who do not treat them with love, or at least respect are doing themselves a great disservice. A House Elf's magic is strongest when it is cared for and needed in return." I didn't react to Lash's words, simply sitting forward, studying the Elf, my wrists dangling over my knees.

"Do you know what a Warden is? What they do?" I asked, keeping my tone mild. The wizened old elf rubbed twisted fingers into his grubby pillowslip. "Kreacher heard stories when he was a little elfling. Wardens don't bothers with us much."

I nodded, "Wardens do a lot of things. But mostly we uphold the Seven Laws and deal with warlocks." I watched the old elf carefully. "Voldemort is what we'd class as a Warlock, Kreacher." The old elf twitched at the use of his name before his bulbous eyes seemed to widen even further and suddenly he had prostrated himself across my feet!

"You'se would help Kreacher? Help destroy the Dark One who killed Good Master Regulus? Help Kreacher with his Master's last order?" Tears and snot flowed freely down Kreacher's face.

"Yes Kreacher, The Wizard Dumbledore and I seek his destruction." I intoned solemnly, thinking that name-dropping the old wizard would garner me more trust.

Kreacher frowned. "Kreacher does not trust the old whiskered goat. He left Kreacher's disappointment of a Master to rot. Kreacher does not like his Master but he is Kreacher's Master. Now the old whiskered goat uses the great and noble House of Black as his own and stops Bad Disappointment of a Master from claiming his Heir. He brings the loud blood traitors and those... un-natural ones here. Oh, what would Kreacher's Mistress say?! No. Kreacher does not trust too many names Dumblee-dore."

The old Elf folded his arms and glared at me. I rubbed a hand over my mouth to hide my smile. When Kreacher had called Dumbledore the old whiskered goat his usually bullfrog voice took on much of Sirius's tones and inflections. It seemed, despite his dislike for Sirius, Kreacher was offended at Dumbledore's high-handed treatment of his Master.

"Fair enough, Kreacher. I give you my word, if you entrust me with your secrets, I will help you to fulfill Master Regulus's last command." The old Elf gazed up at me for a moment, silver eyes shining with unshed tears. Then he popped away. I blinked but before I could move the old Elf popped back into existence before me, a heavy square lead box in his gnarled hands. I took the box and carefully opened it. An ancient silver locket, ornately carved with serpents lay innocently within on a bed of white cloth. Lash hissed at me not to touch it, a useless warning as I had no desire to touch something containing the shard of a Madman's soul. I closed the box carefully, tucking it into a pocket of my duster. "I will see to its destruction. When it is done I will return here and show you proof." The old Elf nodded and seemed to straighten a little more, as though a great burden had been lifted. I nodded back to him and resumed my search for my new students.

 _ **To Be Continued.. Mwah-haha...**_


	7. Chapter 7

**YOU WANT WHO?**

 **Chapter 6**

" **Getting to know you..."**

 _This funny little tale came to me after reading a thread in The Dresden Files group on Facebook. I hope it amuses you as much as it amused me. The characters, places and magic here are the creations of Mr. J. Butcher and Ms J. K. Rowling. I am merely playing from their sandbox, so to speak. I gain nothing but amusement from my stories._

*Unbeta'd so please be kind.*

After the illuminating conversation with Kreacher, and a few new questions to ask old 'Fumble-dore'.. no matter how 'wise' and 'good' this guy came across he'd really screwed the pooch on this whole Dark Lord thing, I continued on my search for the younger, and I dare say, more interesting members of the household.

I found them on the third floor, innocently gathered together in one of the bedrooms. I'd spent enough time around Michael's kids and Billy's pack to spot the clear signs of kids who were not doing as they should. The youngest red head, a pretty girl with her mother's brown eyes, was 'reading' a school book most studiously while the most of the boys seemed to be watching as the two youngest played some strange variation of chess. I swear I saw one of the pawns fold it's arms as if bored and another was scratching an itch... but I saw through the act. The girl, Ginny, had her book upside down and the bushy haired brunette, ( Harriette.. no Hermione) had forgotten to open hers. The idle positions of the game pieces and their obvious boredom was another dead give away. It was the odd piece of skin colored flesh I spotted hanging from one of the twins pockets that cinched it for me however. I'd already heard quite a bit abut those two and their 'inventions.'

Without missing a beat I strolled into the room, shutting the door behind me with a sharp snap. I folded my arms and studied the kids. All of whom sat staring right back at me. "So... how much did you manage to hear?" I asked, eyes fixed firmly on the twins. Neither boy showed the least bit of remorse as they responded in tandem.

"Not much.."

"I think Mum.."

"Or Moody..."

"Charmed the door" stereo, twin looks of disappointment.

"Mum doesn't want us to know Anything." the younger red haired boy grumbled. Beside him the fabled Boy Who Lived had withdrawn to what was obviously a fall back position, up against the headboard of the heavy old bed with his knees drawn up to his chest, a sullen, frustrated expression on his face. Hermione shot him an anxious look before resuming her study of me. The girl's brown eyes were sharp and full of intelligence. And wary distrust. They all looked at me like that, to a varying degree and after the past four years I could hardly blame them. One Possessed, one fraudulent and incompetent, one cursed and persecuted and the fourth, a fake, a kidnapper and a murderer. These kids would be incredibly foolish to trust ANY new defense teacher.

Well, my Name is Harry Dresden, or rather Professor Dresden to you, but not until school is in. Until then just call me Mr Dresden, you have your own Harry without me confusing the issue." I grinned at the kid who gave me a half smile in return before resuming his study of his incredibly ratty, battered trainers. I paused for a moment, studying the kid. The others accepted this, as did he, with an air of poorly contained annoyed acceptance. The poor kid was likely very used to being stared at. My sources had told me all about the boy's exploits and the general happenings within the castle. I would have my work cut out for me when term commenced, LOTS of Bullies to straighten out. Note to self. Must not set students on fire. Control Harry. Control. Do not get sidetracked.

Harry Potter was not what I had expected. This boy should have been the picture of glowing health, well muscled and confident with a good grasp on his physical and magical abilities. After all he was the one who was supposed to end Riddle for good. Instead I was looking at a kid who while muscular from regular sports or physical work, was painfully thin. His face was pinched, the skin taut across his cheekbones where I could make out the faintest purple-ling of bruises. He moved a little stiffly and I remembered he'd been collected not long before I was. He had the look of someone adjusting to eating properly again and his green eyes were weary and tired. Shadows beneath the eyes, a sure sins of sleepless nights and nightmares. His clothes caught my attention next. I don't claim to know anything about teenage fashion but every article the poor kid wore was at least four or five times too large, threadbare and ratty. Cuffs were frayed, small tears here and there had been clumsily sewn up. The colors were faded and there were stains here and there on the jeans, especially deep green marks upon the knees and cuffs, grass stains I recognized. This was not a happy well adjusted kid. He twitched at every sudden noise and movement and when I looked into his eyes, just for a second, his gaze reminded me of my own eyes in the mirror, during the worse days with Justin. I looked away, the kid had issues, he didn't need more added on by a Soul Gaze.

"So.. now you know who I am. Who would all of you be?" I settled on a chair by the door, and tried not to laugh at the antics of the twins, who took it upon themselves to 'introduce' everyone.

Twin one pounced on the younger red head and hauled him to his feet. "This here is our wittly baby brother, Ronnie-kins!" he declared, the offended boy snarled "It's Ron you prat" Seamlessly Twin Two took over. "Ah yes, Our Ronnie here, nursemaid to dragon, ...Grand chess master!"

"Rescuer and car thief, "

"Oi! You stole it first!" protested Ron

" Reveler of Fakes and Frauds,"

"Most Loyal Cannons fanatic and Wizard food disposal expert!"

Ron glared at his brothers before shaking my hand and muttering "Ignore them.. I'm Ron Weasley." I grinned at him and winked. "Nice to meet you Ron."

The twins had pounced upon Hermione and pulled her from her seat. The annoyed girl shook them off but they weren't to be deterred. "Here she is, the brains of the Golden trio, the Smartest Witch of her Age, the one"

"the only.."

"the incredible.."

"Beautiful"

Miss Hermione Granger!"

The girl snorted and turned her nose up at them. She lost the snooty look when presented with my hand to shake. She did so, thoughtfully, her eyes fixed carefully on my nose and murmured a 'Nice to meet you." I smiled at the girl before returnin to watching the free show unfolding before me. The twins were attempting to approach their younger sister, who was eyeing them warily, her wand loose in her hand. Both boys were keeping a weather eye on said wand as they playfully circled her, trying to distract her with their banter. As I tuned to look they pounced, and I was presented with the youngest Weasley, "This is our little sister, ickle Gin-Gin.."

"Fred..." growled the girl, glaring at the twin to her right, before stomping hard upon an unguarded foot. Fred sprang away whimpering. "Er.. George.."

"Righto, this is our beauteous youngest sibling the ever enchanting Miss Ginev...erk" an elbow to his stomach stopped the troublesome twin's speech. Shaking off her oh so loving brothers the girl stepped forward and shook my hand confidently, her red hair bouncing a little. "Ginny Weasley, and those two clowns are Fred," She pointed, and "George" again she pointed. "Please do not pay any attention to their foolishness... oh and never ever eat ANYTHING.. she glared at the twins "they give you, have been near or in any way may have had contact with." I blinked while the twins snickered.

Introductions made I settled in to talk to the teens, picking their brains about what they felt they needed to learn and what they didn't understand. Turns out there was a heck of a lot, Miss Granger was the most vocal in her disappointment and both Harry and Ron echoed that they had learned more researching with and helping Harry prepare for the Tri-Wizard Tournament then in four years of study. I'd heard the story of that disastrous tournament but hearing it from the kids point of view brought it home.

Harry himself was quiet, brooding and sullen. His eyes were haunted by terrors I knew only too well. He was infamous more then famous, an orphan and so very young. He has had just seen a friend die, I knew how that felt. He had been kidnapped, bound and violated and was barely holding on. I could really really relate to this kid. I knew the younger Harry needed to talk about whatever had happened in that graveyard but now wasn't the time or place. I would make time to speak with the boy soon though. First I needed to figure out how to get that soul leach out of his head. Lash hummed knowingly in my head.

I spent maybe an hour with the teens before rejoining a late meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. Once again I had to work hard to keep my mouth shut. Dumbledore's bird club didn't seem to be doing anything. A whole lot of talk, not a lot of action. I definitely would have to contact the Council. This was a mess.

It took me maybe another hour but I had managed to contact the Council. One short conversation with Lucio and I had a small cadre of Wardens standing by when I was ready to 'take out the trash'. Listens to Wind was already on-route to see Harry and deal with the Leach.

Ebenezar had not been pleased. I had the feeling Dumbledore would not enjoy their next conversation.

As for me... I'd volunteered to be part of the security for a trip to Diagon Alley. I mean come on, a whole street full of Magical shops? That I had to see. Dumbledore had had to try to keep Harry with Sirius in Grimmauld place but I overruled him. Well actually Mouse overruled him. I merely pointed out that it would be an extremely stupid, or ballsy, Death Eater who got withing Mouse's radius. And then I casually patted my blasting rod, "Then there's me. What could happen? The kids will be fine."

Me and my Big Mouth.


	8. Chapter 8

**You Want Who?**

 _I would like to apologise for the lateness of my updates, due to struggles with depression and illness of late, my ability to write unimpeded if somewhat diminished. I am going to continue to plug away at this story, Term begins in the next chapter. Please forgive any mistakes, due to a personal tragedy my Beta has had to bow out. Thank You George for all your help to date. As usual, you guys know the deal, not mine, no money made, written for fun, and posted for your continued amusement. And now... On with the Show_

 **Chapter 8**

 **Diagon Alley!**

The day of our trip to Diagon Alley dawned clear and warm. Professor Dresden still looked half asleep when he all but fell out of the floo but his dog bounded through, tail wagging, enthusiastic enough for the both of them.

I was a bit nervous about this outing. The chance to go to Diagon Alley without any 'parents' was too good to pass up. Our Protection Detail were to be Professor Dresden and Mouse, Tonks, Bill and Fleur. Mrs Weasley seemed ready to protest again but Dresden just bustled us out the door with a cheeky wave to Ron's anxious mother.

For a short way we walked under multiple charms and spells to conceal us before slipping onto a public bus and heading for the Leaky.

It was actually really neat to be the one taking someone else on their first trip to Diagon Alley. Even though Mr Dresden was an adult, a super powerful Wizard and a Warden, he still looked like a star struck eleven year old Muggle-born, seeing the alley for the first time.

We ambled up the Alley; the Professor was so busy looking at everything and everyone he didn't even make any snarky remarks and we'd reached Gringotts before I thought to warn him. He was snickering over a moving picture of Fudge gesticulating madly on the cover of the Daily Profit, his lime green bowler repeatedly falling from his head into his hands. Which he, of course, promptly dropped. His amusement vanished when faced with the Goblins. I'd had time to hiss, "Please Sir, be polite. And don't stare or show your teeth, they don't like it." Dresden gave me a cavalier wink. I was NOT reassured.

Surprisingly we survived. The Professor managed not to crack a single joke while Goblin Bogrod served us, and saved us a trip to the Vaults by means of the Goblins not wanting him down there. In fact they really seemed to want him to leave. There were some dark mutterings about 'Circles' and the "Earl King' and 'great insults'. Our gold was brought to us in record time, hostile goblin glares following our every move. We were all but escorted to the doors when we left. I looked up at our, now red faced, Professor.

"Sir?" I asked.

He grimaced. "I may have trapped the Earl King in a magic circle once. The Goblins would definitely would know all about it."

I stared at him in shock. "The Earl King! As in the King of the Goblin!? Isn't he.. I don't know.. dangerous? " I asked, curious.

Dresden nodded. "He's definitely that. I only survived him by chance, I really don't want to run into him again anytime soon."

We'd made it some way down the alley by this time and had reached Madam Malkin's. Harry, Ron and I picked up our pre-ordered robes before heading to the apothecary and the magical menagerie for supplies. Dresden seemed fascinated by the shops and had even brought two sets of Wizarding robes. Acromantula silk, and high quality. one in a deep charcoal gray, the other in a blue so dark it was almost black. Our next stop would be Scibbulus Writing Implements for quills and parchment, then onto Slug and Jiggers for our years potions supplies. First we stopped in at Potages Cauldron Shop, Ron needed a new cauldron. Again.

We had agreed we would have lunch at Florean's before getting our books. By popular consent, Florish and Botts was always our last stop, well mine. The boys would head over to the Quidditch store and Zonko's whilst I browsed the books. Even Ginny would give up all pretense of female solidarity after a while and disappear into the Quidditch store herself. I had the feeling Professor Dresden would have a greater appreciation for the books then our Harry did but I wondered if even he would be ready to leave before I was.

Turns out, I never got to find out. Disaster, in the shape of a six foot seven Warden of the White Council, struck in the Potions store.

Everything seemed normal enough, Harry, Ron and I gathered up the items we needed and replenished our potion supplies. Dresden browsed the shelves, sniffing and poking different things. The shop-keeper had a weather eye on him, probably worried he'd knock priceless potion ingredients to the floor. The fact he was shadowed closely by the huge Mouse probably didn't help. I was just glad he didn't taste test anything. Everything was paid for and tucked away when our new Professor noticed something. His spine seemed to straighten and he suddenly became much taller than he'd previously appeared. An odd reddish glow began to admit from the staff that had been dormant in his hand. He strode forward and turned towards the suddenly nervous shop-keeper.

"What is this?" he asked, his voice soft and deadly. He gestured to a pretty pink sign advertising the latest in love potions. The shop-keeper gulped. In that same quiet, deadly voice the Professor addressed the store keeper. "You know who I am?" the shop-keeper nodded, clearly shaking in his boots. "You do know that the White council banned the use of these types of... potions at least a century ago?" the now whey faced shop-keeper frantically shook his head

"Th.. Th.. The Ministry..." he stammered.

"The Ministry is still beholden to the Laws of Magic. Something it seems you have all forgotten." Dresden growled. "Get rid of this swill or do I have to put on the gray cloak and make things official?"

The shop-keeper all but fell over himself to clear the offending shelves as Dresden stalked out of the shop. We all followed him outside. Seeing that he was somewhat more calm I gathered my Gryffindor courage and asked "Sir, what was that all about? Love potions aren't illegal are they?"

The Professor studied me for a moment and then asked "Your 'muggle-born' are you not Miss Granger?" he asked mildly. I nodded. "Then, given your obvious intelligence, you would have head or Roofies yes? The Date Rape drug?" I nodded, swallowing. "Those potions are the same thing. Only you don't get to be unconscious." he glared over his shoulder. "They also violate the Third Law." feeling slightly sick I dropped the subject. Tonks frowned, Fleur looked sickened and Bill gave her a reassuring squeeze. Looking at the beautiful blonde I shivered, wondering how often she'd feared such dosing. Remus nodded quietly. Looking at Ron and Harry he said softly, "Think of them as liquid Imperius in a bottle." The boy's thought about it then both he and Harry looked sickened.

We had turned and walked perhaps three steps when Lucius Malfoy and son, complete with their bodyguards Crabbe, and Goyle and sons stepped out of the alley right in front of us. Beside Dresden I stiffened. This was bad. Malfoy jnr had never forgiven me for hitting him in the mouth, or Harry for consistently beating him at Quidditch, and I knew what his father thought of all of us. Our two groups met on the narrow sidewalk and I edged behind Dresden, yanking Harry and Ron back with me. Dresden noticed, not that I realized it at the time, and he and Mouse became a living barrier between the Death Eaters , the wannabes and us. At our backs I felt Bill, Fleur and Tonks, all tense and ready. remus had his hand locked around Harry's arm.

Malfoy began the music. Of Course. He sneered at Professor Dresden, obviously trying to look down his nose at someone who towered over him. Then his eyes lit on Tonks who gave him an insolent grin back and called "Hi Uncle Lucy!" The blonde Pure-blood's face went briefly purple before his mask slipped back in place and he resumed sneering at each of our group in turn. "So this is who the old fool entrusts to protect his precious, fallen, Golden Boy is it? A Half Blood, a Werewolf, a Half Breed, a Blood Traitor and..." He gave Dresden the once over before sneering briefly at Mouse "this..." he tsked. "How the 'Light' have fallen." Behind him, Draco was sneering, in a rather pale imitation of his father while Crabbe and Goyle jnr snickered at Lucius 'rapier' wit.

Four of our guard were pulling us back as Dresden stepped forward. He seized Malfoy's hand and .. began shaking it enthusiastically. We all blinked. "Harry Dresden, PI, Warden and the newest member of Hogwarts staff, pleased to meet you." Draco's eyes widened as he took in Dresden's height, the black leather duster and the seven foot carved staff. Then his eyes fell on Mouse and he took a couple of prudent steps back.

Meanwhile Lucius was still having his hand thoroughly shaken. And apparently crushed. He was holding onto his mask but it was slipping. "Lucius Malfoy" he ground out and Dresden released him sharply. He stumbled but managed to regain his posture and was eyeing the Professor more warily. Dresden must have smiled again, because Crabbe and Goyle had retreated to Draco's fall back position and were watching their fathers expectantly.

Dresden leaned casually against his staff and said, in a friendly, affable tone "Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, you should apologies to my companions." Malfoy Snr sneered at him. Though looking closer I could see something wary in his eyes. "Why would I ever do such a thing?" In that same affable voice Dresden replied "Because if you don't I am going to get angry." He leaned forward, his voice no longer affable nor friendly "Don't Make me Angry Mr Malfoy. You won't like me when I'm Angry." Malfoy stared back at him, eyes locked to Dresden's, his already pale complexion going paler than sour milk. They stood, frozen like that for a moment, then suddenly Malfoy was backing away from the Professor, visibly trembling and unable to speak. He stared at Dresden for a long second then at the rest of our guard. He muttered something that sounded like "I apologies" (it was hard to tell with his teeth chattering like that.) before turning and dragging his companions away as fast as he could without actually running.

While everyone else was staring in awe at Dresden I had my hands clamped over my mouth trying not to laugh. The high and mighty Malfoy had just been routed with a Hulk quote!

Remus looked at Dresden with dawning respect and said "What did you do? I've never seen him back down before!" Dresden shrugged and, lowering his voice, explained what had just happened.

"Soul Gaze. One of the differences between our magics I think. The first time I look into someone's eyes it triggers what we call a Soul Gaze. It's different for all Wizards but it's basically a 'look' into each others soul, revealing a glimpse who and what they are. Side effect is they get a look back. It's generally a good way to get the true measure of someone, but I try to avoid it as much as possible. especially with pieces of shit like that." He glared after the departed Purebloods.

"Why not?" I blushed. I still couldn't believe our Defense Professor just scared off a High ranking Death eater with a Hulk quote! My inner nerd was still cheering. (My Dad collects comics, and I much prefered them to the soppy romances of the kind Lavender and Parvati are always reading.)

Dresden smiled at me, letting me know he didn't object to the question. "When I share a Soul Gaze with someone, it's for keeps. Neither of us get to forget it. I don't like what I see often as not. And its intrusive as hell." I nodded. It made sense. I was more and more looking forward to our lessons that year. Remus grinned. "Whatever he saw, Lucius did not like it at all." Dresden merely shrugged. "At least he didn't faint."

"What someone has fainted before after doing that with you?" Ron blurted out. His ears going red as he thought about his question. "Sorry, Sir." Dresden gave him a sheepish grin. "Yeah.. not the best first impression, but she did agree to date me." We laughed as the adults in the group herded us back to Grimmauld Place. One run in with one group of Death Eaters a day was enough.

Upon arrival we 'children' were immediately sent upstairs, 'Order Business' was to be discussed. Dresden really looked like he wanted to come with us as he was dragged bodily into the kitchen for a 'debriefing' with Mad Eye. Mouse looked from him to us and chuffed, before heading up the stairs to join our little group. Dresden's howl of "Traitor" was cut off as the kitchen door snapped shut.


	9. Chapter 9

**You Want Who?**

 **A Dresden/Potter Crossover**

Hi guys, sorry I am so slow. Personal demons and all the crap they bring You all know what real Life can be like. * **Insert disclaimer.. Not Mine... Al credit where due... blah blah blah...** * After a re-read I toyed with the idea of going back and fixing some of my mistakes and then I thought, people would probably much prefer a new chapter then some minor edits to old ones. At the same time I noticed my story was going away from the lighter fic I wanted so am redirecting it the right way. Thank You to the Facebook friend who loaned me Von. Now without further ado, on with the show...

 **Chapter 9**

 _Dresden POV_

The last days before the students returned were hectic. Whilst Dumbledore had hired me to teach DADA, we'd hit upon the small snag that I couldn't actually teach the students the spells they'd need for their exams so the classes themselves had been split into two components, I would be teaching the students the basics of my type of magic, self defense and most of all, how to survive. God knows I had plenty of experience there. For the second component needed for the exams, Dumbledore had brought in a old friend, retired Defense Master Vonafide Cyko. I had to blink when Dumbledore introduced us and the stocky but unassuming looking man had laughed.

"It's quite the name isn't it, My parents had an odd sense of humor." he held out his hand. "Call me Von." we shook hands. I felt a buzz of power, different from my own beneath his skin. Von grinned at me.

"I have heard a lot about you Mr Dresden." I blushed and said "Don't believe everything you hear, and you can call me Harry." Von nodded. "I hear a lot of things about you. Some good, some not. I will make up my own mind I think. Anyone who is goes to fight the Heirs of Kemler and come out alive is someone I can respect." and he moved off to prepare for his own first classes leaving me to try to retrieve my eyebrows from my hair line and my jaw from the floor.

I made a few calls to Headquarters and dropped the whole nasty soul fragment deal neatly back into Ebeneezer lap. He was the Black Staff. That mess was totally his bailiwick. He wasn't too happy but as I pointed out, oh so sweetly, he wanted me to teach kids and protect the school, and damnation that was what I was going to do. The Wardens could handle Moldy Voldy and his Death-munchers. Hell the Recruits could probably handle the Death-munchers just fine, they could even make it a training exercise! If they came calling on Hogwarts.. Well I'd be sure to give them a warm welcome. Fire always works well for me.

With the Hot Potato passed, I settled into planning my lessons. I found myself actually looking forward to it. I loved teaching others about magic, about the nuts and bolts of it, teaching them to gain the focus and clarity they needed to make their spells work, and teaching people WHY they should use their power, not just seeing WHAT they can do. I also looked forward to enlightening the sheltered pure-bloods to the cold fact that they were not the biggest fish in the sea, not by a long shot. They were not beyond reprisal or justice and though their Ministry seemed to be turning a blind eye to their prejudices and abuses of the Laws based on their blood status, the Wardens had no such niceties. I hoped I might be able to save a couple of kids at least from the inevitable run in with a Warden's Blade.

I then set about limiting Bob's ability to cause mayhem in a castle full of adolescent students. It took some serious negotiating. OK OK, Bribery and I wasn't 100% happy, but Bob was to be an inanimate knickknack whenever we were outside my chambers. He could observe but in no way indicate he was anything but a curious decoration. Within my chambers (which were warded out the wazoo), he could continue his absorption of magical books as long as he dummies up if guests came calling. Unless invited to speak Bob was to remain incognito. I was tired, and Bob had twisted my logic every which way in our argument over restrictions, I was sure I had missed something and that I was going to piss off Madam Pince something fierce, as well as go broke on trashy romance novels. Not to mention what it would do to my reputation if anyone saw the growing stack of obviously read bodice rippers. I growled at him not to read all night and fell into bed, Mister curling up on my legs as usual and Mouse, a huge puddle of fur before the softly flickering fireplace. On Monday I would begin my tenure as Professor Dresden.

Usually the day the students arrived preceded a school day, however this year we'd have a whole weekend of hyperactive students roaming free through the Castle before Classes resumed. I paid the other teacher' grumbling little mind as I planned my first class for each year group.

I'd spent part of the day before in my new classroom, unraveling the nasty little curse on the position left by Riddle. It was a clever little spell, tied to an old award the arrogant prick had received some fifty years ago, still proudly displayed in the Hogwarts trophy Room. There was enough ambient power withing Hogwarts that the curse stayed strong, and a mild redirection ward had prevented the plaque itself from being removed. With a nudge or two from Lash I had it dissolved and the weird feeling of pressure in the suite of rooms the Defense instructors used vanished like Chicago mist on a warm day.

Today I pottered (ha- pottered.. I made a funny) about my classroom hanging posters and setting up easels and whiteboards. I arranged a few items on shelves to my liking and made sure I had the other items I'd want or need for my classes before returning to my quarters to shower before the Welcoming Feast. I fed Mouse and Mister, leaving them and a grumpy Bob in my quarters, and joined the rest of the Staff at the Head Table. The whole time Lash and I debated my lesson plans and came up with ways to teach the little wizardlings without anyone dying literally or from boredom.

The Great Hall was quite the sight. Unlike anything you can imagine. Hundreds of candles floated gently under a roiling night sky so realistic you would think we were in an amphitheater. Four long tables with pristine white coverings and lined with sparkling crystal glassware, golden dishes and flatware that gleamed in the candlelight. We sat for a moment before the magnificent doors at the end of the hall opened and the students flowed in. There seemed to be a lot of them. I watched as they veered off to their respective tables, ties and scarves of bronze and blue to Ravenclaw, yellow and black to Hufflepuff. Sullen students in silver and green ties and, mostly, pristine uniforms settling down quietly at the Slytherin table. I spotted the pale faced Malfoy Boy siting between a pair of trolls.. cough.. I mean rather large boys. The rabble of Students trimmed in red and gold, easily the loudest and most boisterous, went over to Gryffindor table, all talking loudly and calling out to friends. I spotted the red-haired devils and Ginny splitting off to see various friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione right behind them, The "Golden Trio" were talking quietly together as they settled into seats. The Hall around us began to settle.

Dumbledore rose from his high backed chair and raised his hand. Silence fell, mostly, and he smiled. "Welcome! Welcome back to Hogwarts. Before we continue we shall, of course, Welcome our new Students!" he sat down, as applause rang out and Professor McGonagal led a procession of very small people into the grand hall. Soft whispers and gasps could be heard as the wide eyed and quite star-struck youngsters took it all in. I had to admire Hogwarts staging, who wouldn't be enthralled if all this drama and theatrics was their introduction to Magic. I then got to watch a very patched and dirty old hat sing a really weird song that it doubtlessly spent a lot of time perfecting before being plopped on head after head and 'sorting' the students. I shuddered. Hadn't these people heard of head lice? I ideally noticed that the spread of students was fairly even throughout the houses, which didn't seem plausible to me. Inside my head Lash muttered about short shortsightedness. After all, who is the same at 11 as they are at 17? Or even 12. However I figured the hat must have some magics to it that allowed for fair dispersal of students. With the newest students sorted Albus grandly began the feast with all the staging and pomp of a ringmaster.

The Feast was amazing. I had never seen so much food in one place and it was all awesome. I was going to have to up my runs if I kept eating like this! I was feeling rather relaxed as I chatted idly to Snape and Von whilst Dumbledore gave his welcome speech.

The fun part of the night came when Dumbledore asked Von and I to stand up as the newest teachers on staff. I'm not sure whether it was Von's name or mine but the whole student body went silent and more then one green and silver trimmed student went pale as they took me in, height, battered pentacle, black robes, scars and all. Beside me Von grinned and I distinctly heard a snort from Severus. As I sat down he muttered, his face an emotionless mask "This is gong to be an interesting year Dresden." Von snickered. I flushed.

The attention was off me fairly quickly after Dumbledore introduced the toad.. ah Madam Umbridge. As the horrid woman took the stage and began speaking I felt both Von and Severus tense. Keeping my own features bland I muttered back to Severus "You could be right." Von murmured "She bears watching, especially around vulnerable students." The three of us listened as the woman wound down her speech, I watched a few of the students seem to take note of what was really being said, many at the Ravenclaw table were frowning, a tiny ethereal blonde in particular, the frown seemed unnatural on her sweet face. There were others, the inestimable Miss Granger hadn't missed it, nor had the red haired devils, Ginny or the pair of Indian twins sitting at different tables. A pair of girls in Hufflepuff were muttering to one another, casting dark looks at Madam Umbridge and several in silver and green were frowning in distaste or grinning smugly. I took note of those faces, Malfoy' jr in particular. The Toad was here as a spy. The Ministry was trying interfere at Hogwarts. I swallowed a snort. I was betting Albus would not take this lying down. With the Wardens kicking over ant hills at the Ministry he had little to fear from their so called government now.

Still... Umbitch was on my list.

After a few more announcements and messages, Dumbledore dismissed the students and staff for the night. I happily returned to my quarters, stuffed to the gills and mulling over the Toad shaped issue of one Delores Umbridge. No wonder I had nightmare.

I woke early the next day, or should I say Mouse woke me early, pawing me awake and running to scratch at the door. I muttered something about uppity dogs and threw a robe and shoes on to take him out. We almost bowled over the tiny blonde Ravenclaw from the feast the previous night. She didn't seem perturbed at all and was scratching Mouse's ears before she said, her voice a faint sing song., "Good morning Professor Dresden." I blinked and tried for a smile. "Um hello.." the girl smiled and held her hand out to shake "Luna Lovegood" I shook her had, bemused and she smiled. I like your friend Mr Dresden, he truly love you and will one day do what you can not." and with that odd statement she skipped off. Her feet were very white and completely bare in the freezing morning air. Before I could ponder this, Mouse was dragging me, urgently down the hall.

Once outside, and away from the actual castle Mouse did what he was bursting to do and we headed back around the lake towards the great castle. Rounding a blind bend I found myself in the middle of a gaggle of Firsties who, without a moments hesitation, were all petting and scratching an ecstatic Mouse. It took me a good ten minutes to extract him from their loving administrations and I had a pretty good idea where to find the big lummox next time he went astray.

The weekend passed too quickly with class prep, running duels with Madam Pince.. (Man that Witch can aim a stinging hex!) and walking Mouse, who seemed to want out a lot, and always managed to find some kids to admire him. Or Hagrid, who worshiped him and Mouse adored. What can I say, he's a people person, canine. Whatever.

After dinner I retrieved Mister from his favorite past time of tormenting Mrs Norris, and tried for an early night. Classes began early the next day.


	10. Chapter 10

**You Want Who?!**

 **A Dresden Files/Harry Potter Crossover**

 _All recognizable characters, places etc belong to their original creators, I own nothing but this random story. As a sufferer from chronic depression and anxiety, writing can be a struggle but my muse is back (bitch has an all-over tan and a silly grin on her face) and I plan to take full advantage. So, here we go..._

 **First Day of Class**

 _Dresden POV_

Due to having two teachers for DADA and them teaching different types of magic, this years classes would be in a slightly different format from previous years. All Years had four classes in DADA a week, two lecture sessions and two practical. Von and I had one apiece, per year per week. In addition the Fifth and Seventh years had an additional class each in preparation for their exams. Von was taking those, as I had no idea what was even in those exams! I had royally annoyed McGonagal, with Von's backing, and we had the Houses on a rotating schedule. We had both heard plenty about the inter-house rivalries and we wanted the kids to begin seeing more than just house colors. The upshot of our wrangling was that we each only had the dreaded Slytherin/Gryffindor combination once a month.

I don't know whether it was payback or pity but my very first class was the First Years. I walked into a classroom filled with nearly thirty bright eyed children. They were tiny, I could hardly remember being that small and I hadn't been playing with Magic then. Although I wasn't much older though when I had performed my first magic. Justin DeMorne had come for me no long after that. I pushed aside those memories, I had a class to teach.

I took the role call just to get it out of the way and took in each face as I called their names. Lash would help me remember who everyone was. That done I moved to the front of my desk and leaned back against it.

Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Or, for you kids, "How Not to Die 101". There was a round of nervous giggles from about a third of the class. The Magic born just looked confused and worried.

"Right! Everyone take out your wands and put them in front of you on your desks." I said, watching. Most of the kids were hunting through their bags or patting down their robes rummaging for their wands. Only two students, one from Slytherin and one from Ravenclaw had their wands at hand and were waiting for their classmates to catch up. Once all the wands were out I said, "Two points apiece to Slytherin and Ravenclaw for being better prepared than your peers. You two" I indicated the two students who's wands had been out first, "Have just escaped or survived." I looked over the rest of the class. "The rest of you are either captured, badly hurt or dead." The students stared at me with wide eyes.

I turned to the blackboard and waved my hand. The chalk floated up and wrote neatly across the board

Rule One. Don't Die.

The chalk settled back down and I turned to back to my class. "The world we live in is a lot bigger and far more dangerous than you could ever imagine. The first thing you all need to know is that we humans are not on top of the food chain. Even when you have fully come into your powers and finish your education. We humans, even wizards, are by no means the biggest, baddest or most powerful thing walking around. There are a lot of things out in the real world, very few of them human, that will hurt you because they are hungry or because they enjoy it. We will get into what those things are and how to recognize them and avoid them in future lessons. Right now I want you all to look at your wands. Really look at them, study every detail until you can see your wand clearly in your mind, even when you close your eyes."

The kids looked at me like I was slightly unhinged but they did it. After about five minutes they began to fidget and I called them back to attention.

"Right. WHAT is a wand?' I asked. The quick little Ravenclaw from earlier, ah Morag Alton, raised her hand. I smiled at her and nodded.

"It's a conduit for our magic Sir" she said confidently. I smiled. A textbook answer.

"Very good Miss Alton, take another two points. Anyone else?"

A plump faced Hufflepuff girl raised her hand next and I smiled encouragingly at her. Zara Smith I remembered. She had an older brother in Fifth year. "A tool sir?" I grinned at her and she giggled.

"Indeed Miss Smith. Take two points for Hufflepuff." the girl flushed happily.

"Two excellent points, but we're missing one, a very important one. Can anyone tell me what it is?" the kids stared at me and a boy, right up the back, in Slytherin colors raised his hand very very slowly. '"Charles Avery" Lash whispered. "His father was a known Death-Eater." I brushed her off. Charles was just a child. I smiled at the boy and he all but whispered

"A weapon Sir."

"That is correct, five points Mr Avery for stating a very obvious fact. One that many witches and Wizards forget." I moved to stand before my desk with every eye on me.

"Sitting before you on your desks is a weapon. You are eleven years old and you have your very own deadly weapon. Just like almost everyone in the magical world. That slender piece of wood is going to become more important to some of you then some of your own limbs. With it you can do amazing, wonderful things. You could also do awful horrible things with it." I let them take that in. "So if I see any of you pointing your wand at anyone else outside of class or without a damn good reason you won't be loosing house points." I looked around the nervous class room. "You will have detention. With Me." The less brave among the students gulped. They all looked nervous.

"So which is more important? The wand or you?" I asked. The kids mostly looked thoughtful.

"The answer to that question is you. Without you that wand is just a fancy stick. The magic is inside of you. It is up to you what you do with it." I settled back on my desk. "Rule One. Don't Die." I looked around and selected a victim, erm student, a small dark skinned Gryffindor girl, to give her a chance to earn her house some points. "A Bad Wizard is pointing his wand at you Miss Johnson, what should you do?" she blinked at me and replied

"Cast a shield Sir?" I hmmed and the chalk behind me wrote Shield beneath Rule one.

"A good answer. Take two points Miss Johnson. One question though. Do you know any shields?" the little girl shook her head.

"Ahh." I said. "Anyone else?" No one raised their hands.

"You guys are kids. Your just starting your magical education. If a Bad Wizard points their wand at you.. Don't Be There. You run away. Duck, hide but most of all, get out of there." The children stared at me with wide eyes. I pointed to a poster I had hung of a Remington 9 11. "This is a gun. If someone points one of these at you, duck behind something or run away. A gun can do as much, if not more damage to you then a wand and can kill you just as dead." the students all gulped.

"So, what do you do if you can't run away?" I watched the students think about it. "You stall. You do whatever you can to buy time until you can get away or someone comes to get you. In today's lesson I am going to teach you all how to create a magic circle. A magic circle is the quick and dirty way to defend yourself from attack, be it magical, physic or spiritual and one you can all learn to use right now."

And so my first class continued as I taught the kiddies all about magical circles and magical intent.


End file.
